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Consider yourself among the lucky ones if you were fortunate enough to have plans that didn't involve watching the Yankees on Saturday night. Like we've grown accustomed to at this point, everything about the game was painful. The fact that it's still April matters and does mean that the team has plenty of time to dig themselves out of this hole they've dug for themselves, but gracious. Nothing is entertaining about them right now.
No one should waste valuable time reading words about this game, so here is the briefest of reviews of utter garbage.
The Good:
Ha.
Nothing.
Literally nothing.
It might rain tomorrow? We can only hope.
The Bad:
Michael Pineda fell behind early and his pitch count swelled enough that it looked like he may not even get through four innings, but he made it through five!
Starters are still not able to pitch deep into games, continuing to put pressure on an overworked bullpen before the calendar even flips to May.
Speaking of the bullpen, they weren't good either. The main cogs had the night off thanks to the lopsided score, but it was still very frustrating.
The defense was sloppy. Everything just looks out of sync right now, and frustration is probably showing up all over the field.
The offense made Rick Porcello look like David Price. He isn't and they shouldn't have. So it goes when you're in a funk as deep as this one.
The Ugly:
The Yankees are now literally the lowest scoring team in Major League Baseball.
Lower than the Rays.
Lower than the Braves.
Unimaginably bad.
It's hard to describe how bad the Yankees offense has been, but...here you go pic.twitter.com/NVUqN1j2Nb
— Ben Diamond (@_BenDiamond) May 1, 2016
What else can even be said? We should all watch live newborn puppies sleep and eat and waddle around instead. That's a much better use of everyone's time.