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Yankees 14, Tigers 3: Offense demolishes Alfredo Simon, shows no mercy

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Brett Gardner fell a homer shy of the cycle, Carlos Beltran went deep twice, and the Yankees pretty much annihilated the Tigers.

Adam Hunger-USA TODAY Sports

After a stirring Old-Timers' Day ceremony in which the Yankees honored Willie Randolph with a plaque and surprised the ailing Mel Stottlemyre with one of his own, the offense hearkened back to those days when Randolph and Stottlemyre were coaches on the dynasty squads of the late '90s. Alfredo Simon was ripped apart on the mound early on and the game was never in doubt--the Yankees blew out the Tigers, 14-3.

Nathan Eovaldi immediately showed improvement on his last start by actually finishing the first inning this go-around, actually retiring the Tigers in order. Brett Gardner then got the party started with a leadoff triple and Alex Rodriguez brought him home on third baseman Andrew Romine's error. Although Simon wiggled out of further trouble, that was just the beginning. Didi Gregorius led off the next frame with his fourth homer of the season and second in two games. Stephen Drew followed with a single, and the bases were loaded when Gardner doubled and Chase Headley walked. A-Rod hit a sacrifice fly to make the score 3-0, though Simon somehow managed to work out of the jam again.

The third time wasn't the charm for Simon, as in the third, Carlos Beltran rose from the grave to smash a long homer to right-center field. Simon got two outs after that, but the Yankees then loaded the bases on three straight singles, one of which came from Gardner to put him a homer away from the cycle already. However, the third single came from Headley, and it gave the Yankees a 4-0 advantage. At long last, Tigers skipper Brad Ausmus decided that Simon just might not be the best option out there after 85 pitches and just 2 2/3 innings. Ian Krol entered, and A-Rod greeted him with his 3,001st career hit and 668th homer. The three-run bomb turned the night into an 8-0 laugher, as both teams shifted into autopilot for the duration.

The very next inning, the Yankees struck again with the undead Beltran's second homer of the night and an RBI single by Chris Young. Incredibly, the offense then scored for the fifth straight inning. The game became truly ridiculous with Tom Gorzelanny pitching. The first five players all reached and three runs scored on three hits, a walk, a bases-loaded hit by pitch (lol), and an RBI groundout. At this point, the score was simply hilarious:

Lost in the offensive explosion was a solid bounceback from Eovaldi. In six innings, he allowed just four baserunners and two runs, limiting a powerful Tigers lineup to a mere three hits on 93 pitches. It was even better when considering the fact that he started on short rest. Bryan Mitchell finished the evening off with three innings of three-run ball in mop-up work, earning the save thanks to baseball's fascinatingly bizarre rules. It was #clutch. Young also tacked on a solo homer in the eighth, just for kicks.

The Yankees go for the sweep tomorrow afternoon with ace Masahiro Tanaka starting against Anibal Sanchez. The action will start up around 1:05pm.

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