Yankees 0, Rays 1: Offense dormant and causes suffering; finds way to lose before extras

This team loves getting shut out. This team loves to make all of you suffer for nearly four hours while they fail to scratch out even a single run. This team loves drinking your tears. If you want to find a positive in tonight's game, maybe you point to the fact that it's another mark off the calendar as we approach the offseason. Watching these guys flail helplessly night after night is barely even disappointing anymore. It has numbed us.

Chris Capuano pitched well in his first game since only recording one out in his last start, lasting six innings and giving up only two hits. The Rays' offense proved to be nearly as inept as the Yankees', but the difference was that Shawn Kelley pitched like Shawn Kelley frequently has in 2014 in the bottom of the ninth that allowed Tampa Bay to break the scoreless tie before subjecting us all to extra innings. Adam Warren bounced back from his latest shaky outing to throw two innings without allowing a hit. Martin Prado was the least terrible on the offensive side, picking up two hits on the night. Ichiro Suzuki was the only Yankee to pick up a hit for extra bases with a double.

In further "that's so 2014 Yankees news", Brett Gardner and Jacoby Ellsbury collided in the outfield while trying to haul in a fly ball. Gardner was given an error on the play, and we are probably just fortunate that neither of them needed to be carted off the field. Chase Headley was ejected in the middle of an at-bat after taking exception to a Marty Foster strike call. It seemed like Foster escalated the situation much more than Headley, but we all know that that's just the way a lot of these umpires roll. Maybe Headley was just as sick of the game as the rest of us and wanted to hit the showers early.

Tomorrow night's game will feature Michael Pineda squaring off with Jake Odorizzi at 7:10 pm. It's unclear why you might still be devoting your time to this team at this point, but I guess you can enjoy that Pineda is one of the few bright spots left in what will go down as an extremely disappointing season. Yay, I guess.