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Yankees Rumors and Gossip 7/8/15: Yankees interested in Ben Zobrist; Alex Rodriguez likened to Ric Flair

As the rumor virus threatens to ravage our bodies, we consider news about Ben Zobrist, Jeff Samardzija, Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, Chuck Knoblauch, and Andrew Miller.

Andy Marlin-USA TODAY Sports

I’m afraid I’ve recently become aware of some horrible news. This news isn’t actually real, but is instead hypothetical. In other words, it’s credible enough to make the #2 spot on any CNN bulletin. As I press two fingers to my ear – this in an attempt to hear some transmission that doesn’t actually exist, because I’m not actually on television – I can now report to you in an urgent yet clear tone of voice that a new type of flu has emerged: rumor flu.

Our species has previously dealt with swine flu, which comes from pigs, and bird flu, which if I understand correctly comes from giraffes; now it’s rumor flu, which comes from the rare but real rumor mammal – not many people have seen it but it looks a bit like an exploded squirrel which has been sutured back together in the shape of a fish. For sustenance the rumor mammal eats pages from only the most accurate publications like the New York Post, the National Enquirer, and the Sun. Moreover, it poops lies. I took a microphone outside, walked around blindfolded for a bit, and bumped into a rumor mammal. Lowering the microphone to its mouth and hitting record on my tape deck, this is what I learned:

Do you have rumors and gossip of your own? We’d love it if you posted in the comments. Speak them loudly before the rumor flu consumes you!