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Yankees Rumors and Gossip 7/8/15: Yankees interested in Ben Zobrist; Alex Rodriguez likened to Ric Flair

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As the rumor virus threatens to ravage our bodies, we consider news about Ben Zobrist, Jeff Samardzija, Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, Chuck Knoblauch, and Andrew Miller.

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I’m afraid I’ve recently become aware of some horrible news. This news isn’t actually real, but is instead hypothetical. In other words, it’s credible enough to make the #2 spot on any CNN bulletin. As I press two fingers to my ear – this in an attempt to hear some transmission that doesn’t actually exist, because I’m not actually on television – I can now report to you in an urgent yet clear tone of voice that a new type of flu has emerged: rumor flu.

Our species has previously dealt with swine flu, which comes from pigs, and bird flu, which if I understand correctly comes from giraffes; now it’s rumor flu, which comes from the rare but real rumor mammal – not many people have seen it but it looks a bit like an exploded squirrel which has been sutured back together in the shape of a fish. For sustenance the rumor mammal eats pages from only the most accurate publications like the New York Post, the National Enquirer, and the Sun. Moreover, it poops lies. I took a microphone outside, walked around blindfolded for a bit, and bumped into a rumor mammal. Lowering the microphone to its mouth and hitting record on my tape deck, this is what I learned:

Do you have rumors and gossip of your own? We’d love it if you posted in the comments. Speak them loudly before the rumor flu consumes you!