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Pinstripe Alley v. Yankee Stadium Food: The Barnyard Wedding

The Yankees have concocted some new food items for their fans to consume. PSA has decided to review them for you, no matter the both figurative and literal cost.

Two fried chicken patties? There should only be one! Why do you want me in pain, Yankee Stadium?
Two fried chicken patties? There should only be one! Why do you want me in pain, Yankee Stadium?

Baseball and food. Food and baseball. They go together so well that every major league baseball team has a song that plays in the middle of the 7th inning that talks about buying some peanuts and Cracker Jacks when you're at the ballgame. Who knows whether this is just a pure love for those two products or the greatest and longest running advertisement ever. Nevertheless, they are baseball food staples. There are other such culinary staples at baseball stadiums, and other sporting events. Hot dogs, beer, sausage, etc. We're not here to talk about the staples though. In this series, the only staples that will be mentioned are the ones our doctor use to patch us up after we've had surgery to recover from eating the concoctions that Yankee Stadium has seen fit to put in front of us. Bring it on!

Today we take a look at the Barnyard Wedding. It is sold at the Triple Play stand in Section 115. When you arrive, you really must look at it. It is important to behold this monstrosity, and the other newest monstrosities displayed along with it.

Display of Horrors

The "Hot Surface" part of the caution sticker is really not needed. "Caution. Do not touch." says all that needs to be said. While viewing this, electrical signals will be transmitted from your eyes to your brain. Your brain, if it is functioning properly, will translate these signals into the Alarm Sound effect from the Death Star.

Perhaps the only thing more alarming is when you see the Barnyard Wedding pop up on the electronic display board. Crisp visuals will show you the contents of the beast and you may wince at the $16 price tag and the whopping 1,120 calorie count. The bottom line is that Yankee Stadium is making you well aware that you are going to pay for eating this in more ways than one.

The burger, if you can still call it that, comes with a burger patty topped with aged cheddar, which is then topped with a fried chicken patty, followed by a hash brown. If you take a closer look at the main photo, you might notice that my Barnyard Wedding came with two fried chicken patties instead of one. What followed this extra poultry discovery was a debate with my friends as to why it was there. Was it a reward or a punishment for sitting five rows away from left field for free? Needless to say, I removed the second fried chicken patty to get the true Barnyard Wedding experience. That and I enjoy living. After further examining the physics required to take the first bite of this thing, it was time.

The Barnyard Wedding is pretty tasty. Each ingredient actually complements the other. The crunchy aspects of the fried chicken and hash brown blend well with the burger. There is a sauce that tops the hash brown, but it's hard to taste it because your taste buds are being overwhelmed by the rest of the flavors. It's definitely overwhelming. As you're eating it, you feel like you are consuming 1,120 calories worth of food. All at once.

When you eat the Barnyard Wedding, there is never any point during the meal in which you think you're eating something healthy or normal. It's like going to a fair and ordering a bag of Deep Fried Oreos. No matter how delicious you might think they are, you are fully aware that you shouldn't be eating it. This is meant to be crazy and overwhelming, and that's exactly what it is.

Final Verdict: The Barnyard Wedding is an expensive, delicious, unhealthy monstrosity that you will potentially eat once due to curiosity (or for review purposes) and most likely never eat again.

There's still plenty of Yankee baseball and more food options to try. Also, if anyone would like to fund the PSA Kickstarter for a gym/pool area for our writing staff, that would be super.