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Brett Gardner is a baseball-mashing cyborg-demon

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Fear Gardner. He's come from the future to destroy Sarah Connor baseballs.

Adam Hunger-USA TODAY Sports

As I'm wont to do every now and then, I tweeted yesterday. One of those tweets was this thing.

This tweet exemplifies a few things, the first of which being you really shouldn't follow me. These WAR totals are the definition of cherry-picking, and one month of production isn't an example of who a player is. The statement also somewhat implies that the other players are playing at their normal levels, which isn't necessarily true. I'm spouting misinformation to the tweetverse. For shame!

That all being said, the second thing it exemplifies is sweet mother of mercy Brett Gardner is on fire. Before Sunday's game (in which he singled, walked, and drove in a run), Gardner had been hitting .343/.405/.626 in the month of June. That's not a Mike Trout slash line, or a Miguel Cabrera one. That's Brett Gardner. In that span he has a .283 ISO, which is actually higher than Trout's mark for the season. It's also higher than Miguel Cabrera's mark for the month and it's the sixteenth best in all of baseball. The folks ahead of him are mostly stars like Giancarlo Stanton, Anthony Rizzo, Bryce Harper and... Stephen Drew! Baseball, folks.

He's brought his batting average to a nice clean .300 after Sunday's loss to the Astros, and he was one of two men (the other being some schmuck with more than 3000 career hits) to touch a dazzling Collin McHugh. Let's just pretend that his adventure with Garrett Jones in the outfield didn't happen because it screws with my narrative. Take notes, aspiring writers. Let's talk about this kind of stuff instead.

For a smaller guy, Gardner hits some long bombs. His body is about 170% wire and muscle and he uses all of it when he pulls a ball for a dinger. Or when he legs out a triple. Or when he outruns ostriches. That brain fart in Houston is far from the norm, by the way. Gardner is an excellent defender through and through, and can hang with the best of them.

So what's the point, you ask? Brett Gardner is possibly a T-800 sent back in time to play baseball, who cares? Well you care, sports fans. Alex Gordon, the afore-tweeted A. Gordon, is probably going to be the starting left fielder in Cincinnati at the All-Star Game. Yoenis Cespedes is also a fairly strong candidate to be named to the team. It's your duty, brave citizen, to spam Brett Gardner votes like a ballot-stuffing maniac until the All-Star voting closes. Gardner, who has been worth 5.7 fWAR since last year (and that includes his second half of 2014 being sabotaged by that core injury) and arguably the Yankees' best player in that span, has not been named to the All-Star team before. Help rectify that. Make your voice heard. Get Gardner to Cincinnati. It's almost as important as making sure Alex Rodriguez goes. The Yankees need you! Vote early and often.

It's your duty as a member of the human race to get our very own robot on the team.

Nicolas Stellini is a staff writer at Pinstripe Alley, where he writes about the Yankees and covers the Double-A Trenton Thunder. His national coverage can be found at Beyond the Box Score. You can follow him on Twitter at @StelliniTweets.