A fond farewell to Chris Stewart

An era of incredible import has finally come to a close for the New York Yankees. No, Vernon Wells is not retiring. Chris Stewart, noted defensive warlock and slap-hitter extraordinaire, has been traded to the Pittsburgh Pirates for a player to be named later. I assume this player is Gerrit Cole, but we shall see. It goes without saying that Stewart has left quite the impression on us all. For example, here's the players with the lowest single-season wRC+ for the Yankees in the past 25 years. (min. 300 PA)

I didn't say it was necessarily a good impression. No, the Chris Stewart Era (also known as "Stewiepalooza") will most likely be remembered for the feeble hitting, frequency of passed balls and hilarious gaffes. Also, when you somehow manage to strike out with only two strikes against you, you probably need to hit like Thurman Munson to not be mocked for the rest of eternity. And there was also this highlight:

However, I do not intend for this eulogy for the Yankee career of Chris Stewart to focus solely on the bad times. Sure, the bad times were overwhelming in number, but even Stewie had his moments in the sun. Who could forget this gem?

Look at that! Tim McCarver sounds as amazed as if he saw a live dinosaur in the stands. Then there was also Stewart's crucial three-run homer in the first game of the double-header on August 21st. And...uh, he hit a homer off of Jon Lester in 2012. I guess that's about it. It's not easy rolling off highlight moments for a guy whose primary (only?) attribute is pitch framing.

Regardless, an unforgettable era has come to an end. While mostly the fault of a front office that tried to fill the catching position on the cheap and a manager who continued to play him when he couldn't hit air, Stewart will be one of the players most identified with a 2013 squad that was historically putrid on offense. Wells, Nix, Ichiro and Stewart: they will all go down as The Four Horseman of the Offensive Apocalypse. Two down and two to go. No hard feelings Mr. Stewart, but your departure was for the best.

So head West, young Stewie. May you find success in Pittsburgh like Yankees expats Russell Martin and A.J. Burnett. You can hang your head high knowing that you gave it your all during your time in New York, even to the point of becoming really thirsty. And know that The Binder will always love and miss you.

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