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Yankees 1, Blue Jays 14: That’s baseball, now in haiku!

The Yankees came out the loser in another nonsense game, so I wrote a nonsense recap

New York Yankees v Toronto Blue Jays Photo by Timothy T Ludwig/Getty Images

I recapped Monday
That was a blowout loss too
But today was worse

Yankees lose, fourteen
To one, looked asleep all game
Bad tuneup start, Mas

Tanaka’s command
Made worse by ump Additon
Jays hit every “ooops”

Fastball fooled no one
Four whiffs on four-seam, two-seam
No sliders in zone

Luis Cessa gave
Up four and just got four outs
I hate him so much

Tyler Lyons, thrown
To his namesake, get some outs!
But he’s not that good

Too many pitches
Not even close to the zone

Remember Higgy?
Hit three home runs, that was great
Jansen hit two, how??

Vladimir Junior
Struggles facing Tanaka
Drove in three, of course

Offense a no show
Same errors as hits, ain’t great
Just look at the fifth

Robbie Ray’s not good!
Walk and hit chased him from game
In comes AJ Cole

Walks Aaron Judge, nice!
Bases loaded, no one out
Stanton k, oh no!

Voit popout, that leaves
Gleyber, fly out, no runs score
Does anyone care?

Only run comes with
Bases loaded in the second
No hits, wild pitch, yay?

Don’t get me started
On the team defense, Gio’s
The only good one

Gary CI twice
Gleyber, Voit, for good measure
Someone catch the ball!

Erik Kratz, pitched on
Sunday, needed again now
Knuckleball looks cool

Rays clinched division
Second place, still up for grabs
Go clinch that Thursday

My brain is broken
Yankee baseball makes no sense
Time to get shawarma