The 2019 Yankees as Beatles songs

The season is nearly at its halfway point, which means the time is ripe to assign midpoint grades to the 2019 Yankees. In lieu of tyrannical alphabet grades, however, the present author has decided to spice things up a little bit by assigning Beatles songs to individual players. Without further ado, here are my submissions. Come up with your own in the comments below.

Domingo German - Yesterday

A month ago, it looked like all of German’s problems - inconsistency between starts, gopher-itis, being prone to big innings - seemed so far away. Now, it looks as though they’re here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday.

The Bullpen - I’m So Tired

Overall, the Yankees’ bullpen ranks just 12th in innings pitched, suggesting that Aaron Boone has done a pretty nice job managing their workload. In the past 30 days, though, they’re fifth in MLB with 118 innings pitched, and without any reinforcements in the rotation that number is only going to climb. We can only hope they can withstand the strain.

Aaron Judge and Giancarlo Stanton - Getting Better

Man, was it ever a bummer to see these two beefy baseball boys go down to start the year. Thankfully, both sluggers seem to be on the mend, and they should be able to return soon.

Gio Urshela - Fixing a Hole

That’s exactly what Urshela did when he burst in to the scene following Miguel Andujar’s season-ending surgery. Although his bat and glove has slowed down some since the beginning of June, his 1.1 fWAR still ranks fifth among the team’s position player corps. At the very least, Urshela has secured a place within the Yankeeverse as a folk legend with his early-season heroics.

Brian Cashman - Taxman

Dallas Keuchel sure would’ve been nice. However, I’m well aware that I’m beating a dead horse at this point, so I’ll move on.

Hal Steinbrenner - You Never Give Me Your Money

DALLAS KEUCHEL SURE WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE THOUGH.

Luis Cessa - I Should Have Known Better

Cessa showed signs of promise during spring training and in a long relief role in the early goings, sporting much improved strikeout and walk numbers and the stuff to back it up. I myself was half convinced that the Yankees’ player development had scored another victory. I, uh, should have known better.

Luke Voit - Carry That Weight

You know, because that’s what he does. Never change, Luke.

The Rotation - Help!

Pretty self-explanatory.

DJ LeMahieu - Got to Get You Into My Life

I used to be so mad at the Yankees for getting DJ LeMahieu instead of Manny Machado. Now? I don’t know how I lived without LeMahieu all these years.

(also, hot take: Earth Wind & Fire’s version of this song absolutely crushes the original).

Kendrys Morales - You Won’t See Me

Hopefully this is the case with the Yankees adding Edwin Encarnacion to DH for them. So long, Kendrys. I will not miss you. Oh, and speaking of which...

Edwin Encarnacion - And Your Bird Can Sing

The lyrics themselves are pretty dismissive of the unnamed person who claims that their bird can swing. If Edwin was the one boasting, however, I’d be inclined to believe him. 401 career dingers don’t lie.

Jacoby Ellsbury - Nowhere Man

Sitting in his nowhere land. At least he has Troy Tulowitzki keeping him company now.

Gary Sanchez - Octopus’ Garden

I’D LIKE TO BE

IN THE CHEAP SEATS

WHEN THE DINGER-HITTING KRAKEN STRIKES AGAIN

HE’D FEED US ONE

KNOWS WHAT WE WANT

IN THE BLEEPIN’ KRAKEN’S GARDEN IN THE BRONX

I’D ASK MY FRIENDS TO COME AND SEE

THE AWESOME KRAKEN’S GARDEN WITH ME

I’D LIKE TO BE

IN THE CHEAP SEATS

WHEN THE DINGER-HITTING KRAKEN STRIKES AGAIN