It’s been a frustrating offseason in many ways for the Yankees and their fans. Manny Machado isn’t likely to join the team, and I know I’ve personally been waiting for Bryce Harper to come to New York since he told SI in 2009 it was one of his goals. That seems unlikely to come to fruition as well. To pass the time this offseason, I’ve been watching a lot of TV shows I don’t normally watch during the MLB season, and a thought came to my mind -- how might past and present Yankees do on game shows?
Deal or No Deal or Let’s Make a Deal
In both Deal or No Deal and Let’s Make a Deal, contestants must weigh their options and negotiate an agreement that ideally gets the contestant the most amount of money possible. In the Yankees iteration of both these games, the best potential contestants would undoubtedly be Alex Rodriguez and Giancarlo Stanton. Both sluggers have earned record-breaking contracts and would no doubt be fantastic players on these shows.
Conversely, David Robertson seems like he’d be a poor contestant on this show. After firing his agent and choosing to represent himself this offseason, Robertson signed a below-market deal with the Phillies a few weeks ago.
So You Think You Can Dance?
Gleyber Torres is still just beginning his career, but he’s definitely got some moves. Whenever the Yankees win or Torres homers, he does what I’m calling the “Gleyber Shuffle.” Here it is:
"The lineup is awesome. Everybody does their job, everybody helps the team. I just try to help my team too, try to put in something, hit or defense. I try to help and try to win." - @TorresGleyber pic.twitter.com/QJb7ztZs3f— Bryan Hoch (@BryanHoch) May 22, 2018
Jeopardy or Who Wants to Be a Millionaire
Both of these shows require some brains, and the Yankee I’m choosing for this one is definitely Mike Mussina. The Pennsylvania-born Mussina was just decimal points away from being his high school valedictorian, although his parents suspected he purposefully fell short because he didn’t want to give a speech at graduation. Mussina went to Stanford and only took three years to graduate with a degree in Economics.
This was perhaps the most enjoyable thought experiment on the list. A quick overview of some Yankee Instagram accounts show there are plenty of outdoors-y, fisherman types on the Yankees, but it was difficult to pinpoint who might do the best. Brett Gardner sticks out as maybe an early favorite, but according to the most recent episode of R2C2, Gardy can be a bit of a contrarian, which makes me think he might get voted off the island pretty quickly. Greg Bird is similarly outdoors-y, but there’s no way he can make it 40 days without needing to be medically evacuated.
My gut tells me Austin Romine has the best chance to win a season of Survivor. As a backup catcher, he’s got good relationships with both the hitters and pitchers, meaning he can play both sides. He’s not loud or flashy either, so I’m thinking he could lay low just long enough to sneak in the final two and maybe even win the game.
There’s no doubt Didi Gregorius and Nick Swisher would kill it on Double Dare. Neither Didi nor Swish would hesitate at the idea of finding a flag up a giant nose or getting slimed. It doesn’t hurt that Nick Swisher is basically already a cartoon either, bro.
The Amazing Race
Dellin Betances spent parts of seven seasons in the minor leagues, meaning he’s got to be pretty well-versed in traveling on a tight budget. Jokes aside, pay minor leaguers a living wage.
CC Sabathia seems like a pretty solid choice for a partner. Sabathia’s been everywhere in the US. He grew up on the West Coast, pitched in Cleveland, Milwaukee, and New York, and seems really hyped about the chance to pitch in London in 2019. I’m sure the veteran leadership wouldn’t hurt the Betances-Sabathia duo either.
I have no idea if either can cook, but Reggie Jackson and Mariano Rivera seem like great candidates. The pressure of a big moment never got to either player, so both could probably handle Hell’s Kitchen and Gordon Ramsey. However, I think Mr. October gets the edge over Mo here simply because Reggie played under the Ramsey-esque Billy Martin and George Steinbrenner.
Yes, I know Drunk History isn’t a game show, but I just have to say I would pay lots of money to watch David Wells and David Cone on that show. Let the two just have a few and talk about whatever they want, and I’d probably watch 7 seasons. Make it happen, Derek Waters.
Hopefully, you had as much fun reading this one as I had writing it. This is by no means an exhaustive list, so if you have ideas, let me know if the comments. Here’s to only a month left before pitchers and catchers report.