clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Yankees as Brooklyn Nine-Nine characters

New, comments

NINE NINE

'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' Steak-Out Block Party And Special Screening Event - Arrivals Photo by Mark Davis/Getty Images

It’s been a wild weekend for fans of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. On Thursday, Fox announced that it cancelled the critically acclaimed comedy. Fans of the show hurried to social media and expressed their outrage. Rival executives took notice. Late on Friday night, news broke that NBC contracted the show for a sixth season, and there was much rejoicing.

Many of the writers here at Pinstripe Alley are big fans of the show. It’s only fitting we combine two of our interests. We matched several of the main characters to members of the 2018 Yankees. Shout out to Caitlin Rogers for helping with these pairings.

From the same blog that brought you Yankees as U.S. Presidents, Simpsons characters, and WWE superstars, here is the roster as the cast of Brooklyn Nine-Nine!

Brett Gardner - Jake Peralta

It’s been a rough season for Gardner, but in many ways, he’s a centerpiece of the team. The left-fielder stands out as a clubhouse leader and is an original homegrown player. He also has a reputation for being a practical jokester — he’s represented as a clown emoji in the victory tweets, after all. That’s why he fits perfectly as the squad’s lead player and all around goofball.

Aaron Judge - Amy Santiago

Judge is the team’s MVP. There’s no disputing that. In fact, he’s one of the best players in all of baseball. At the same time, he’s a little bland. He studied at the Derek Jeter School of Nondescript Interview Answers. He says and does the right things all the time. Doesn’t that sound like Amy Santiago, the near-perfect detective? Not only do they excel on the field, but they play by all the rules off it. There’s nothing wrong with that though!

Gary Sanchez - Rosa Diaz

This one writes itself. Gary is scary, and so is Detective Diaz.

Giancarlo Stanton - Terry Jeffords

Have you seen these two? They’re practically chiseled out of stone. Stanton may be the strongest baseball player I’ve ever seen. He just flicks his wrists and the ball flies all the way to the warning track. I wonder how he feels about yogurt.

Masahiro Tanaka - Charles Boyle

Whenever the camera pans to the Yankees’ dugout, it always seems like Tanaka is having a good time. He’s all smiles and bantering with his teammates. He also decided to not exercise his opt-out clause last winter. That’s loyalty. You know who else is a top-notch team player? Boyle! I would love to see these two discuss the best pizza around.

Didi Gregorius - Gina Linetti

A complimentary player who quickly turned indispensable? A great sense of humor? Prodigious social media game? This checks all the boxes!

CC Sabathia - Captain Raymond Holt

Holt is the commanding officer of the 99th precinct. Sabathia is the de facto leader of the clubhouse. They’ve seen it all and have earned the respect of their teammates. The big left-hander is a little more animated though. Just ask Angel Hernandez.

Jacoby Ellsbury and Austin Romine - Scully and Hitchcock

This probably works out to an unfair comparison. While both groups are ineffective at their jobs, at least Scully and Hitchcock are good for comic relief.

Tyler Austin - Adrian Pimento

Adrian doesn’t appear all that often, but when he does, things get interesting. He’s always finding himself in action-packed situations. He lives life dangerously. Austin doesn’t play every day, but that brawl with the Red Sox earned him the reputation of one tough customer.

Aroldis Chapman - The Vulture

Modern baseball minds understand that the save is a terrible stat. It doesn’t measure the effectiveness of a relief pitcher. Oftentimes the best relievers on a team don’t pitch in save situations because they’re putting out fires elsewhere. The closers, however, get all the praise. Chapman isn’t the best reliever on the team, but he vultures away the credit.

David Robertson - Doug Judy (AKA The Pontiac Bandit)

Peralta’s arch-nemesis with a flare for the dramatic, Judy has a propensity for elaborate escapes. How many times has the Pontiac Bandit slipped out of their grasp, only to disappear for another season? Thankfully the Yankees have their own Houdini on staff. You could put Robertson in any jam and I’m confident at his ability to get out of it.

Gleyber Torres and Miguel Andujar - The Jeffords Twins

Cagney and Lacey Jeffords are the twin daughters of Terry Jeffords. Andujar and Torres are the next wave of the Baby Bombers. You know both sets will grow up to be incredibly strong. The future is bright for everyone involved here.

The list could go on and on, but I like what we have now. Do you agree with these comparisons? Are we missing anyone? Let us know in the comment section below. NINE NINE.