Announcing the awards for the Yankees/Red Sox brawl

Another year, another brawl at a Yankees game. This time it was with the Red Sox. Whether you like to see baseball players fight or think it’s a stupid exercise in toxic masculinity, it cannot be debated that this was a heated altercation. Boston wanted to retaliate against Tyler Austin for his hard slide at second base and Austin was upset they would take exception to such a fundamental baseball play. Whether it was uncalled for or not, Austin should not have been surprised when Joe Kelly threw at him in the seventh inning.

In the seventh inning, with the Yankees up 10-6, Kelly retaliated against Austin, throwing a 98 mph fastball into the batter’s ribs. Austin shattered his bat on home plate, walked a few steps toward the mound, and took off. From there, it was pure pandemonium. Now, with cooler heads prevailing as we look back on what went down last night, here are the awards for the Great Baseball Brawl of 2018:

Worst Charge: Tyler Austin

Tyler Austin started this fight, so it should come at no surprise that he won in several categories. Up first is worst charge, because anytime you charge the mound and end up on the ground with the pitcher on top of you, shoving your head into the grass, you’ve messed up.

Perhaps his biggest mistake was waiting so long to actually charge. Instead of running up right away, he walked a few steps into the middle of the field, allowing time for Joe Kelly to prepare himself to be attacked and giving other players enough time to get in the way. A more immediate charge would have left everyone unprepared, and possibly given him an opening for a more effective attack.

Dumbest Fighter: Tyler Austin

Tyler Austin wins again! After everyone got into the fracas, Austin fell on the outskirts of the fight. Having already done the work to get things started, he wasn’t really needed to keep it going. Instead of staying where he was, he launched himself back into the pile and connected with a big punch to Red Sox third base coach Carlos Febles. Congratulations, you’re now suspended!

This team is already struggling to keep a healthy team on the field, and with Greg Bird out for the time being, Austin has a responsibility to fill in as best he can. Punching the opponent’s coach is not going to help, so it shouldn’t be surprising when Austin has to sit out a few days. Fighting is all well and good, but you have to understand that there are other games that matter.

Biggest Bulldozer: CC Sabathia

The Yankees have a lot of big guys on their team. Between Aaron Judge and Giancarlo Stanton, you would think it would be enough. Then again, CC Sabathia is also on the roster, even if he is currently on the disabled list. If you forgot about him, he made quite the statement last night by running in and bowling over several Red Sox players as he made his way to the center of the fight.

As impressive as this feat was, it also made CC one of the dumbest fighters out there. The southpaw is 37 and is already dealing with a hip injury just weeks into the regular season. He should not be out on the field pushing guys over, no matter how effortless it might seem. He could have gotten hurt a whole lot worse if things went another way.

The Biggest Baseball Boy: Aaron Judge

For the second year in a row, Aaron Judge is the Biggest Baseball Boy in a baseball brawl. Given his immense size, it’s hard for him not to play some kind of distinct role among the chaos, but in this fight he proved to be very much the gentle giant he appears to be.

Though he clearly get Joe Kelly into a headlock, it is clear that he is actively trying to stop the fight and keep his players from getting at the pitcher. He pushes away someone (probably Tyler Austin) and yells at people to get back. He almost singlehandedly moves the fight from the middle of the field to just in front of the Red Sox dugout.

Giancarlo Stanton, the second biggest boy, plays a role in keeping the fighters separated, but Judge was clearly the star of the peacekeeping operation. As Brock Holt later attested, he wanted no part of either Judge or Stanton.

Most Confusing Ejection: Phil Nevin

For some reason Yankees third base coach Phil Nevin was ejected from the game. There didn’t seem to be a clear reason why, since several different coaches got involved in the fray. The most he did was embrace Red Sox catcher Christian Vázquez in a hug and pull him away from the fight. Perhaps he said something to one of the umpires that got him tossed.

As a funny aside, Nevin looked fat as hell during the brawl, and he seemed to agree on that. He said he won’t be wearing so many layers next time so he doesn’t look that bad again.

Stupidest Ejection: Tommy Kahnle

Somehow Yankees reliever Tommy Kahnle managed to get tossed from the game as well, and it was all because he said something stupid to the umpire. Apparently a member of the umpiring crew grabbed him during the fight, and Kahnle didn’t like it. He didn’t even pitch last night.

Fighting is serious business and should be avoided at all costs. However, since it did happen, we have to poke fun at it. If you have any other awards to give out, please let us know in the comments below.