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The worst John Sterling home run call of all time

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The home run call for Giancarlo Stanton was bad, but these are worse.

MLB: New York Yankees at Toronto Blue Jays Nick Turchiaro-USA TODAY Sports

In his first official game as a member of the Yankees, Giancarlo Stanton unleashed his first (and second) home run in pinstripes. As you might expect, radio announcer John Sterling came up with a new home run call, but in a surprising turn, it was so bad that the internet caught fire just trying to figure out what the hell he even said. Sterling had tried to prepare people for what was to come, but obviously there was no way to be ready for the bastardization of an entire language on a prominent radio station.

Seeing as how Sterling fancies himself to something of a lounge singer these days, he decided to go with an Italian phrase that rhymes with Giancarlo, because who cares, life is fleeting. His call was “Giancarlo, non si può stoparlo!” and it doesn’t make any sense. As it turns out, “stoparlo” is not actually a word, but Deadspin postulates that he was likely trying to say something about how he has no words for what he just witnessed.

Sterling previously voiced his concerns about whether or not the call would land, and boy did it not. It’s possible that he unleashed his worst home run call ever on the team’s best player. Thankfully, he added in something about it being a Stantonian home run, which means nothing but gives him something to fall back on in the future. Are you wondering what other bad calls Sterling has made over the years?

Weird Brand Placement

Sterling loves a pun, but sometimes he takes things a little too far. Unable, or unwilling, to come up with something on his own, he’s made a habit out of borrowing from prominent advertising phrases, bringing some harmless product placement into the call. Remember Shelley Duncan? Apparently he’s as helpful as Duncan Donuts because “The Yankees run on Duncan.” Chase Headley was as reliable as a bank because “You can bank on Chase.” Even some nonsensical products on in there with “It’s a Reynolds wrap” for Mark Reynolds, which really doesn’t mean anything.

It’s honestly fair to wonder if he’s getting money from these companies. Will Neil Walker be Johnny Walker Black next? I’m surprised Mason Williams didn’t have anything to do with W.B. Mason, as in “Who but?”

Extremely Dad Jokes

Really lame and extremely obvious jokes are the specialty of dads everyone. Sterling might almost be 80, but he’s still a father of four, and he’s most definitely a DAD. That means we got things like “Sori, right number” when Alfonso Soriano hit a home run, which is kind of embarrassing. Eric Hinske also got “Hinske with your best shot,” which is obviously a play on Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me with Your Best Shot” single from 1980. It’s not too outdated a reference, but we’re getting there.

Probably the worst in this category includes Randy Winn’s “He helps the Yankees Winn,” which might rival something like “Hi hungry, I’m Dad” in terms of how much you want to die from embarrassment. This also goes along with every reference Sterling makes to Austin Powers. Basically, anyone with the name Austin is cursed with “Austin Powers one,” no matter how outdated that film is and how uncool it is to reference in 2018. Sorry to Austin Romine, Tyler Austin, and Austin Kearns.

Just Not Cool

As everyone was quick to point out, Stanton is very much not Italian, but Sterling doesn’t really care about race unless there is something incredibly stereotypical to reference. As much as everyone loved “A thrilla by Godzilla” when Hideki Matsui hit a home run, calling him “The Sayonara Kid” isn’t really a great look. Considering he used it again for Ichiro, it just seems a bit insensitive. Also, giving Ichiro “The Rising Son” moniker is kind of racist, to be honest, since he would never use it with someone like Brett Gardner.

Those are not the only semi-offensive calls he has made over the years, though. Jose Molina’s home runs were accompanied by “Jose can you see that,” which is a reference to an offensive play on The Star-Spangled Banner, usually done by stupid kids on the playground. Sterling also said Rob Refsnyder “has Seoul,” in reference to the fact that he’s Korean, even despite the fact that he spent all of five months in his home country before being adopted and brought to America as a baby. His name being Refsnyder now, Sterling made that connection simply based on his physical appearance. That’s really not cool.

Honestly Incomprehensible

Every so often, Sterling has come up with a call that is so bad, it’s hard to figure out what exactly he was going for. Remember Ben Francisco? When he hit a home run “He opens up his Golden Gates” was actually a call that was made on the air. That’s one that should make you feel more than a little uncomfortable. If we’re being honest, this is probably where the call for Stanton belongs because it doesn’t really make a lot of sense.

Missing the Obvious

Sterling really likes to use the word christens when someone named Chris hits a home run. Chris Dickerson, Chris Stewart, and Chris Parmelee all had something to do with christening a home run. It’s too bad we couldn’t get something more obvious when it came to Dickerson. Give me “Dickerson hits a dong” any day, thank you.

Some people like John Sterling for making baseball fun, others hate him for making it into a joke. We can all agree that some of these calls just don’t land, and it’s been quite awhile since one was actually good. He won’t be abandoning his schtick anytime soon, but maybe it’s time for him to give up trying to make one for everyone. Sometimes it’s a bad idea to force it when you don’t have something obvious.

Then again, Giancarlo Stanton should not be a name that stumps him. What do you think it should have been?