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Picking out Halloween costumes for the 2018 Yankees

Stressed about a possible Red Sox World Series victory? Here’s some light reading to take your minds off that darkest timeline.

MLB: AL Wild Card-Oakland Athletics at New York Yankees
Adam Hunger-USA TODAY Sports

October is a stressful time for baseball. For fans of postseason teams, it’s a nerve-wracking month spent poring over the TV screen and hoping that your team lives to fight another day, resulting in liver failure, sleep deprivation, or both. For fans of teams who didn’t make the cut, the festivities of the playoffs make the thought of waiting out another long winter that much more daunting. And fans of teams who made the postseason but whose World Series dreams are no longer alive, well, we get to enjoy the worst of both worlds.

October, however, doesn’t have to be so stressful. The weather is nice, the fall leaves are beautiful, and there’s that wistful feeling in the air which makes you want to put on Pink Floyd’s Wish You Were Here and drink to the sunset. And to top it off, the month culminates with Halloween, perennial contender for Holiday of the Year due to its combination of nerd-dom and high sugar intake. Since the holiday is almost here, let’s pick out some costumes for the 2018 Yankees, shall we?

*Aaron Judge and Giancarlo Stanton - Machamp from Pokemon*

Being a big beefy guy kind of constrains your options on Halloween, as there’s only so many characters that fit the bill in our pop culture universe - the Hulk, a WWE star of your choice, Bane, Mr. Clean - which leaves very little room for creativity. So why not combine two big beefy guys into one four-armed absolute unit of a video game character? I’m not really sure how to work out the logistics of the costume; I assume that Stanton would have to be taped to Judge’s back, which would be hell for Judge’s knees. However, it’s an idea still worth exploring, not just for Halloween but perhaps in the regular season as well (more arms equals more swings equal more strike zone coverage equsl less strikeouts?).

*Brett Gardner - A lite-size Mr. Clean*

Ok, so I totally thought of this while writing up the last paragraph. Sometimes the best costumes aren’t the ones who get every detail right, but the ones who get one important detail completely wrong while being perfectly competent at the other ones. Brett Gardner is bald and chiseled, much like Mr. Clean. Size is all that separates the two, and boy what a difference it makes. This has the potential for drop-dead hilarity.

*Jacoby Ellsbury - This guy from that one episode of SpongeBob*

Sometimes the jokes write themselves.

*CC Sabathia - Chewbacca*

Human beings contain multitudes. CC exemplifies that truism particularly well, as he can be both affable and warm, as he is on the very good R2C2 podcast, and aggressive and surly, as Josh Reddick or the Rays can certainly attest to. However, his qualities as a good teammate are what tie these disparate traits together. All of these characteristics, plus his sheer size, make CC a prime candidate to be Chewbacca for Halloween.

*Didi Gregorius - Quavo from Migos*

If we’re talking style, I think Didi could pull off any of the trio’s looks, but I think his facial features most closely resemble Quavo’s. Plus, I can definitely see Didi accentuating a Sevy strikeout or a Judge dinger with a “blah!!!” or a “skrt-skrt” as the team’s resident hype man.

These were the best I could come up with. Feel free to share your own costume ideas in the comments below.