Earlier this weekend, the Baseball Hall of Fame introduced its newest member. A slugger who left a colossal imprint on the diamond, he drove in the winning run for one of 1990’s most memorable games. He played among the likes of Roger Clemens, Ken Griffey Jr., and Don Mattingly. That’s right, Homer Simpson has been enshrined in Cooperstown.
To celebrate Homer Jay’s accomplishments, we’ve paired the 2017 Yankees with characters from The Simpsons. Shout out to the rest of the Pinstripe Alley staff for their suggestions, especially Kunj Shah for his helpful input. Now, from the same blog that gave you Yankees as U.S. Presidents, beer, and fragrances, here’s the Yankees as Simpsons characters.
CC Sabathia - Homer Simpson
You could make the argument that Sabathia has been the team’s protagonist since 2009. In many ways, the success of the Yankees revolves around the southpaw. He’s been a central figure in many of the club’s storylines for the better part of a decade. Plus, the big left-hander’s buzzcut bears resemblance to Homer’s thinning hairdo.
Masahiro Tanaka - Professor Frink
Tanaka is a calculated pitcher. Each pitch is deliberate and sets up the next one. He appears to think several steps ahead of the batter. Frink might be the smartest man in Springfield; Tanaka is likely the craftiest pitcher in the rotations.
Michael Pineda - Sideshow Bob
Pineda flashes brilliance, but most of his starts since joining the Yankees have felt a lot like this. At least he hasn’t turned evil.
Luis Severino - Lisa Simpson
Severino is the youngest member of the Yankees rotation. Lisa is also among the youngest characters on The Simpsons. That’s not all they have in common, either. The Yankees’ flame-thrower has the makings of a frontline starter. Lisa excels in everything she tries. The future is bright for these two.
Jordan Montgomery - Ned Flanders
The rookie southpaw doesn’t light up the radar guns. In fact, he doesn’t do anything that stands out. He’s kind of boring, but in an enjoyable way. He’s also incredibly polite and gracious in his interviews. Add a few diddly’s and that sounds like Flanders, no?
Brett Gardner - Bart Simpson
Gardner has earned the reputation of being a clubhouse prankster. Didi Gregorius represents him with a clown emoji in the victory tweets. Plus, he always figures into those Yankees on Demand commercials. The one they call El Barto has a knack for stirring up trouble as well. Cowabunga!
Gary Sanchez - Maggie Simpson
One of the original Baby Bombers, Sanchez is among the league’s youngest catchers. Don’t sleep on him, however. We’ve seen what he’s capable of on both sides of the ball. Like the Kraken, Maggie is also rather advanced for her age.
Jacoby Ellsbury - Snowball II
A cat is said to have nine lives. Given his propensity for injuries, Ellsbury might have just as many. For the record, The Simpsons technically are on the fifth edition of Snowball II. It feels like the Yankees have had that many iterations of Ellsbury, as well.
Didi Gregorius and Starlin Castro - Lenny Leonard and Carl Carlson
This one’s a package deal. Like Lenny and Carl, we perceive Gregorius and Castro to be best friends. They’re a smooth double-play team, and they do a mean Stepbrothers impression. Plus, Lenny is quietly one of the most interesting characters on the show. That description aptly fits Gregorius. After all, he’s a knight, an artist, and speaks multiple languages.
Aaron Judge - Judge Roy Snyder
Snyder might be a minor character in the extended Springfield universe, but don’t let that fool you. The Yankees right fielder has established himself as one of baseball’s biggest power threats. Plus, the team is embracing his magisterial surname. Yankee Stadium has The Judge’s Chambers, and it’s quite fun.
Matt Holliday - Duffman
Have you seen Holliday’s arms? I think he might have Duffman beat in that category. Score one of the Yankees designated hitter. Oh yeah!
Greg Bird - Krusty the Clown
Just as Krusty is one of the more recognizable cast members, Bird is one of the faces of the Yankees’ youth movement. Plus, his Yankees on Demand Bird Watching commercial is among the funniest of the entire series.
Chase Headley - Reverend Lovejoy
This one’s easy. They’re both rather boring and minor characters in the larger scheme of things. Sometimes they have their moments, but most of the time they’re just forgettable.
Aaron Hicks - Comic Book Guy
Worst. Comparison. Ever.
Austin Romine - Chief Wiggum
Romine and Wiggum are both good enough for what they do. The backup catcher has a serviceable bat and fans seem to appreciate his defense. Wiggum, on the other hand, is a very good background character. Go watch a few Clancy Wiggum scenes. They’re quietly hilarious.
Chris Carter - Dr. Hibbert
The Yankees have had their share of injuries at first base this season. With Bird out and Tyler Austin also on the shelf, the team needed a stopgap. Somebody had to play first. That’s where Carter comes in. At least his play of late hasn’t been Dr. Nick bad.
Ronald Torreyes - Santa’s Little Helper
The diminutive utilityman seems to have come out of nowhere. Nonetheless, he’s turned out to be a rather productive player. Who doesn’t enjoy having him around?
Rob Refsnyder - Milhouse Van Houten
Always the sidekick, never the main character. That’s Refsnyder for you. He’s just sort of around, and when thrust on to the main stage, he’s happy to be here.
Aroldis Chapman - Drederick Tatum
They’re both tremendous athletes with questionable actions in their backgrounds. Next.
Dellin Betances - Abe Simpson
No, Betances isn’t the oldest player on the roster. That honor belongs to Holliday. He is, however, one of the first notable homegrown talents to break through in recent years. He predated the Baby Bombers movement, and in that sense, he could be seen as the grandfather figure to the young talent .
Tyler Clippard - Poochie
Sometimes they just look alike.
Adam Warren - Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Apu’s Kwik-E-Mart is a one stop shop for anything you need in Springfield. Warren is like that for the bullpen. He can do it all: high-leverage short relief, long relief, spot starts. The only thing the Yankees’ Swiss Army Knife reliever is missing is a Squishee.
Chasen Shreve - Moe Szyslak
Shreve’s a left-handed middle reliever. Moe’s a cantankerous bartender. They’re both necessary, but so volatile that you never know when they’re going to blow up.
Jonathan Holder and Chad Green - Rod and Todd Flanders
Are Holder and Green as close as Rod and Todd? Probably not. Neither pair are exactly main characters, though. That’s good enough for me. Hooray!
Bryan Mitchell - Lionel Hutz
Mitchell plays first base about as well as Hutz practices law.
Tommy Layne - Hans Moleman
“I was saying BOO-urns.”
Joe Girardi and Brian Cashman - Principal Skinner and Superintendent Chalmers
This one works too well. Girardi’s the adult in charge of the clubhouse, but some of his moves are puzzling. “Am I out of touch?,” he seems to ask. “No, it’s the children who are wrong.” It only follows that Cashman stands in as his boss.
Randy Levine and Lonn Trost - Itchy and Scratchy
Another package deal, but if only the Yankees’ pair was as fun as their Springfield counterpart. Unfortunately, they’re equally destructive.
Hal Steinbrenner - Mr. Burns
A powerful billionaire with the occasional tendency to be painted as a villain? Yeah, that sounds about right.
Did we miss anyone? Think there are some better fits? Weigh in with your Yankees-Simpsons mashups in the comment section!