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Yankees Rumors and Gossip 6/23/15: Trade for all starting pitchers; wear cologne like Derek Jeter

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In today's rumors and gossip, the rumor mill links any and all starting pitchers to the Yankees, while a rather intrepid Derek Jeter tours Rome, applies appropriate amounts of cologne, combats cyberbulling, and starts a publishing house.

Chris Humphreys-USA TODAY Sports

I have a question: How do rumors get started? Some would say they’re started by jealous people. Which is an explanation of who starts the rumors, but doesn't exactly address how the rumors are started, so it turns out that’s a bit of a non sequitur.

Here’s another non sequitur: let’s not concern ourselves with how the rumors are started, but why we like the rumors. "Because they’re entertaining!" you yell. Silly Matthew, asking such a simple question. But I understand, because I love them too. They’re crazy, and in reading them we spin up fantasy scenarios which are fun to think about, and amazingly, once in a blue moon – the bluest moon – one of them turns out to be for realsies. Rumors give us fuel for this entertainment fire.

Consider me, then, your designated fire stoker. Here are some succulent rumors (and some ripe gossips!) from the past few days.

  • Multiple sources are reporting the Yankees have interest in Cole Hamels, who (for your information) is a starting pitcher. There’s no evidence of this interest – in fact, when asked, unnamed persons within the organization explicitly said the team has no interest in Hamels – but this rumor is the kind of commonsensical thing people are prone to writing about because, well, Yankee starters have an ERA of 4.42 this year, the rotation is filled with curious names like Adam Warren and Nathan Eovaldi, and "how can it possibly stay this way for the rest of the year oh god fifty other people have already written this exact column." Hamels, who is under contract through 2018, has pitched to a 2.96 ERA (3.55 FIP) this year. Some problems though: the Phillies have a high asking price, Hamels is dealing with some hamstring issues, and he also made this tasteless thing some time back which makes me not like him.
  • Along with being interested in the RedsJohnny Cueto, the Yankees apparently also have interest in Mike Leake, dispatching a number of scouts to inspect the twenty-seven-year-old. Like his teammate Cueto, Leake is set to hit free agency at the end of the year. He’s very much in Cueto’s dust, however, and that’s putting it lightly – after fourteen starts, Leake is nurturing a 4.01 ERA (4.70 FIP!).
  • In essential Derek Jeter news, the Kangaroo-fearing media mogul was recently photographed wandering the streets of Rome with Hannah Davis.
  • In similarly essential Derek Jeter news, girlfriend Hannah Davis randomly told someone that she doesn’t like guys who use too much cologne, and from that the New York Daily News spun a story that Jeter landed her because he uses the right amount of cologne – not too much, but not too little either... just right. This spurious connection was probably made because someone in the building came up with the headline "Derek Jeter is a heaven-scent boyfriend" and they needed to find a way to use it.
  • In maximally essential Derek Jeter news, Jeter has invested in STOPit, an app which aims to combat cyberbullying.
  • I’ve just learned Derek Jeter owns his own publishing house called Jeter Publishing.
  • What did active players and former players have to say about Alex Rodriguez’s 3000th hit? Joe Girardi, Lou Piniella, and Johnny Damon have all given Rodriguez the thumbs-up. Reggie Jackson also joined the thumbs-up club with the staggeringly vibrant statement, "I'm an Alex fan." Wade Boggs was slightly more bullish, refusing to take any stance and therefore forcing us to register his opinion as a sideways-thumb. Meanwhile, Justin Verlander gave what can only constitute a thumbs-down. Enjoy that 6.17 ERA, Justin. (I mean, sure, you’ve only made two starts this year, but still.)
  • Eduardo Nunez also had words about Rodriguez: "We’re still close. He still blames me for things. It’s funny." Said pitching expert Phil Hughes, "I’ve always liked him. . . . Besides what everybody says or thinks or whatever, he was always good to me."

Do you have some rumors and gossip of your own? We’d love it if you posted in the comments. Each rumor and each piece of gossip helps us build a ladder up to the Truth Star. Ahh, Truth Star. So bright and pretty! Our ancient ancestors worshipped you, and now we do too. Shine, sweet freedom.