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CC Sabathia and the Yankees offseason regimens

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CC is getting the most press, but he's not the only one who has put in the maximum effort during the offseason.

"String Bean" Sabathia
"String Bean" Sabathia
Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

CC Sabathia has undergone quite the transformation during his offseason. Whether his efforts will bear fruit or not remains to be seen, but it's always admirable when a player shows a commitment to both bettering himself and trying to rebound from a difficult season. As we near Spring Training news has been trickling out that a lot of other Yankees had adopted difficult (and surprising) training methodologies in an effort to turn in phenomenal 2014 campaigns. Here's what some of CC's teammates have done to improve their play for 2014.

  • Concerned that he might not have the makeup to become a "true closer", David Robertson has been siphoning blood from the great Mariano Rivera and infusing himself with what he calls "Sandman Serum". He expects opposing hitters to grip their pillows 50% tighter this season.
  • Believing that still had room to become even more clutch, Carlos Beltran spent his entire offseason in a submarine so he would become more used to overwhelming pressure.
  • Jacoby Ellsbury has had a tracking chip implanted in his head so other players can avoid bowling him over with a quick glance at their GPS. He will also be wearing a reflector vest for night games.
  • Mark Teixeira has been putting twice as much kale in his power-smoothies as normal. They are now completely kale.
  • Just so he could get his first inevitable injury out the way before the regular season, Brian Roberts intentionally slammed his pinky finger in a car door seven times. He hopes the evil injury spirit that has been following him for years will be appeased.
  • Because of his crippling ankle injury, Derek Jeter has been unable to perform his patented jump-throw out in the field. So as to not disappoint the fans, he has adopted a spinning, between the legs toss. It is still more accurate than Eduardo Nunez's throws.
  • Determined to improve his paltry average, Brendan Ryan has been practicing hitting with his eyes open.
  • Alfonso Soriano was apparently frustrated with how many times he walked during the 2013 season. In order to remedy this, he was using a ten foot long bat while training in the offseason. He hopes to get his BB% down under .001.
  • Alex Rodriguez has spent his down time perfecting the persona "Al Rodrigo" in an effort to sneak his way back onto the field. He's got a fake passport and mustache, so the plan is bound to work.

Sure, it all seems kind of strange. But these are professionals that are clearly committed to being the best they can be at their chosen profession. They'll stop at nothing, no matter how seemingly odd, to make sure that the next season with the Yankees is a wonderful one.