This week has seen the Yankees make some pretty big moves. They signed Andrew Miller and traded for a shortstop in Didi Gregorius. But there are still holes on the roster, and there's a chance we may seem a big name be acquired to fill them. I asked the PSA staff how they would impress the possible future Yankees.
Q: In the past week, the Yankees have been linked to some of the biggest names on the free agent market. If you were in the Yankees front office, what recruiting pitch (in addition to the giant pile of money) would you give to get these big stars to sign with the Yankees?
Pinstripes are incredibly slimming. And to any prospective shortstops out there, I would just show them the statlines our shortstops put up there last year. There's almost no way you'll fail to be an upgrade!
First, I would lay out all 27 World Series rings on the table for dramatic affect. Next, I would bring out Yogi, Mariano, Pettitte and Reggie, to help the recruiting process. Moving forward, I would stick to the Yankees "Wine & Dine" playbook and show them why New York City is the greatest city in the world. Last, I would show them the secret Steinbrenner bank vault filled with money and simply say "Sign Here x______."
"Okay [highly regarded free agent who expects bags of money] New York is the place to be! We have it all! And I can guarantee you that you will always be in the lineup, regardless of your numbers, aliments, or issues. And you won't have to worry about a young, up and coming rookie taking your spot, because when you play under Joe Girardi, and you're a veteran, you will play until you collapse. We also have barbers round the clock to take care of your facial hair, so don't worry about that either! And if that doesn't interest you, well then maybe your own personal homerun call made by the legendary John Sterling will do it for you. John! Come in!"
*John Sterling rushes in and performs personal homerun call for free agent*
"What? You're a pitcher and will only get at bats during interleague play? Well, that's okay because John will always be ready. Just come to NY, and don't think about the taxes at all."
Have you met Paul O'Neill? A couple 3 WAR seasons, one 4 WAR year and one 5 WAR year, and he is a deity at Yankee Stadium.
Have you met Luis Sojo? He actually produced negative value in his time with the Yankees, and he's still cheered at Old Timer's Day.
Have you met Hideki Matsui? One ring, a string of 2 WAR seasons, and one hot week in October and he's an immortal.
If you want to play in front of the most forgiving fanbase on the planet, come to Yankee Stadium. I won't matter if you hit .254/.302/.418, because so long as you pounce on the knuckleball in Game 7, you'll always be fondly remembered.
Four words: Gourmet macaroni and cheese
"So if you'll just sign on the dotted line..." -I'mGivingYouAPitch
I would take said free agent to Derek Jeter's yacht-a-copter where we would cruise whatever body of water Jeets happens to be parked in. We would then fly it back to New York and spend like seven hours dropping water balloons on Mark Teixeira as he tries to exit his house. Then I would take them to eat the food Greg suggested above. Finally, I would end the day by taking them to their very own room in the caverns of Yankee Stadium where they could Scrooge McDuck it up.
Those are our answers, so now it's your turn. How would you impress the possible future Yankees?