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Yankees 5, White Sox 6: It will be hard to top this monstrosity

The Yankees blow leads in the bottom of the ninth and twelfth en route to their worst loss of 2013.

That lonely, sinking feeling.
That lonely, sinking feeling.
Jonathan Daniel

I honestly don't know why you're reading this. Actually, maybe if you're an avid Yankee hater you might enjoy the rest of this recap, but other than that there will be no joy to be found in the words that follow. The Yankees had two opportunities to close out the White Sox, and failed in excruciating fashion. But if you're going to read about this nightmare, we might as well start back at the beginning.

It was a matchup of two lefties in CC Sabathia and Hector Santiago as the Yankees tried not to get swept by one of the worst teams in baseball. Of course, the Yankees have been no bed of roses themselves recently, so the worst was assumed.

It took the Yankees all of two batters to equal their offensive output from Tuesday, as Alfonso Soriano belted his second home run in his Yankee return with Brett Gardner on first to give the Yankees a 2-0 lead. It was the 100th of Soriano’s truncated Yankees career. And dear reader, I know you are assuming those were the only runs that the Yankees scored in this game...but you would be wrong. In the third Vernon Wells singled home Soriano to make it 3-0. And in the fourth, Eduardo Nunez went boom-ez with his first homer of the season to make it a four run margin. After THAT inning is when the Yankees remembered they're the worst Yankees offense since the Ice Age, and did not score again until extra innings. They went a putrid 1-16 with RISP, which is a really bad idea when you can't score runs.

In regards to the pitching side of the game for the Yankees, CC Sabathia had his best outing in nearly a month. That's not really saying much, but an improvement's an improvement. He worked four scoreless innings until giving up yet another home run, this time to Gordon Beckham. But the man known as Chucky Cheese (I think) Sabathia would run into more trouble in the seventh as he gave up a run-scoring double to Paul Konerko to cut the lead to two. But CC would bear down and only allow the runner at third to score, preserving the Yankees' lead. He worked 7 1/2 three-run innings but had only one strikeout and a lot of solidly-hit outs, so I remain cautiously optimistic about him moving forward.

CC gave way to David Robertson in the eighth, who bowed to Mariano Rivera in the ninth who (double-checks box score, gasps in terror) gave up a two-out double to Beckham and a single to Adam Dunn for his third blown save of the year, costing CC a win that would even his record at .500. So we trudged on bravely into extra innings anticipating the horrors that lay within.

In the bonus frames, we got a bonus inning out of Mo for the first time in what seems like eons, and Adam Warren blanked the Sox in the 11th as the Yankees...did nothing. But in the 12th Robinson Cano, he of the 0-4 to start the day, blasted a solo homer into the right-field stands to give the Yankees a 5-4 lead and eventual win, scratch that. This is 2013! So, in the bottom of the twelfth Warren allowed a single to Tyler Flowers, a single to Alexei Ramirez and a two-run, game-winning, soul-crushing double to Alejandro De Aza. And that was your ballgame. Because we can't have nice things.

I don't think it needs to be said, but holy hand grenade did the Yankees need this victory. As we wind our way into the final quarter of the season, the Yankees need every single win they can get, and blowing the game with one out to go for a victory TWICE is a real stupid way to get back into the playoff hunt. This is the lowest of the low, people. 2013 has been an awful season, but the forces conspiring against the Yankees and their fans are going to have their work cut out for them to top this disaster. I suggest you go hug something fluffy.

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