clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

A-Rod chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool with Biogenesis friends

Did Alex Rodriguez have another secret meeting with players associated with Biogenesis? Of course he did, and we've recovered the transcript of the meeting that definitely, totally happened.

Did you guys write something on my forehead?
Did you guys write something on my forehead?

In case you missed the first meeting, the transcript can be found here.

20130703_sal_ay3_050 Hey guys, thanks for coming back for another meeting. I'm super-psyched that I've been out in the field again. Hope my new injury doesn't set me back too much.

1374448820 I thought there would be more people here. Aren't there more than twenty players linked to Biogenesis?

20130703_sal_ay3_050 Sorry, Nelson. I tried to talk to Ryan, but he denied receiving my invitations. Then yesterday he apologized, but wouldn't say what for. He can be a pretty stubborn guy. Also, Gio didn't feel like he needed to come anymore, and I lost Cesar's contact info. Do you guys know if he's on Twitter? I'm on Twitter. You guys can follow me at AROD. If you only want injury news, don't follow me. I'm not allowed to do that sort of thing anymore.

1374449353 I don't know if he's on Twitter. What about the rest of the guys?

20130703_sal_ay3_050 Melky, I was really close to finding out who the rest of the names were, but I hit a snag.

1374449554 What do you mean you hit a snag?

20130703_sal_ay3_050 I hit a snag, Yasmani. It happens. I was talking to the Biogenesis guy and I was like, hey, I've got this superfriends-type club with people who are linked to you, do you think I could get a list of names? It would really help increase our membership. And then he was like, sure thing, and I'm thinking to myself, awesome, this is going to be the best club ever. But then he was like, I'll give you the list, but you have to pay me one million dollars, so I was like, whoa, buddy, I'm devoted to our new club, but I'm not paying one million dollars.

1374448820 You know that he was asking for money because he wanted you to buy his silence?

20130703_sal_ay3_050 As usual Nelson, this seems to have gone right over your head. I only wanted the list of names to help out the club.

1374449353 Aren't you worried about getting suspended? It's not exactly a fun experience, and you don't get paid.

20130703_sal_ay3_050 Nah. A long time ago I helped out Matt Damon and he is really loyal to me so I told him to pretend not to know me and then get a job working for Bud Selig. Now he feeds me information and takes care of problems for me. Marky Mark and Jack Donaghy have no idea what is going on.

1374449554 That's just the plot for the The Departed except with organized crime and police. It was a movie that had the actors Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg, and Alec Baldwin.

20130703_sal_ay3_050 You don't say. Hmm...well I also have this guy who I meet in parking garages who gives me information about what's going on, and get this, he calls himself "Deep Throat."

1374448820 That's All the President's Men. You know, Nixon, Watergate.

20130703_sal_ay3_050 Sorry, been watching a ton of movies. Guess that sort of seeps in to my regular life. Did you see that new Superman movie? That Zod is one angry fellow. Anyway, let's play a game. Do you guys know two truths and a lie? Melky, you go first.

1374449353 Uh...I did not win the batting title last year, my given name is Melvin, and I have a pet corgi named Stanley.

20130703_sal_ay3_050 I know you have a pet corgi because you are always posting adorable pictures on facebook. I think it's funny when dogs wear really big sunglasses. You did win the batting title, so that means your given name is Melvin. Never would have guessed that.

1374449353 Actually, I didn't win the batting title last year. At my urging, baseball made a completely arbitrary rule that you can't win a made-up title if you are suspended. My given name is Melky.

20130703_sal_ay3_050 Good one. You had me fooled. Well I think that ought to do it for this meeting. Until next time, remember: he who rides a tiger is afraid to dismount.


More from Pinstriped Bible: