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What can Vernon Wells actually do?

They combine to be one half of a player
They combine to be one half of a player

Vernon Wells is dead, long live Vernon Wells. The guy that has been terrible for years, and everyone said would be terrible, has become terrible again. After accumulating a 147 wRC+ in April, he has since fell off a cliff with a 60 wRC+ in May and now a -54 in June. On top of that he seems to be offering no value on either side of the ball as he continues to loaf around the outfield and let balls drop right in front of him. Even Joe Girardi seemed to be agitated with him after he decided to not throw the ball to third base in the 18th inning against the Athletics, which ended up being the winning run. He seems to have hit a wall and now he just doesn't look like he cares or even tries to care, however, he still does something well.

Vernon Wells can't hit righties (56 wRC+), but he has hit lefties well (113 wRC+). He can't hit in Yankee Stadium either; he has a 44 wRC+ this year at home against a 104 wRC+ on the road. It's still not that simple, though, because he actually has a 52 wRC+ against lefties at home, but a 184 wRC+ against lefties on the road. Essentially, Wells is a platoon of a platoon player and should only hit against left-handed hitters in places other than New York.

That's not all. It would also seem that Vernon Wells gets sleepy because he has a .582 OPS in night games, but a .787 OPS in day games. He gets tired at night and doesn't have the energy to play after his bedtime. Girardi should probably let him take naps in the clubhouse during the seventh inning stretch and just set him up in the Yankee Stadium locker room with a blanket and his teddy for every home game. Rob Thompson can check on him and feed him whenever there's a shallow fly ball hit to right field with runners in scoring position.

The other half of this half-platoon can be filled by Ichiro Suzuki, who has a 145 wRC+ against lefties at home and has a .687 OPS in night games against a .545 OPS in day games. All they need is a guy who can actually hit right-handers and they'll be all set. Maybe Curtis Granderson or Thomas Neal can be the majority stakeholder of such a Frankenstein's monster platoon. Then it would all be worth it.

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