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Totally real supersecret conversation between A-Rod and Cano

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A-Rod and Cano have a meeting to discuss important issues.

Brad Penner-US PRESSWIRE

1366677636 Robinson, thank you for coming to meet me at my supersecret totally off the grid rehab center.

1366677867 Umm...this is an LA Fitness, and you are wearing a shirt with your name on it. I don't think that is off the grid.

1366677636 That's why this place is perfect. When people see me here with my own name on my shirt, they think I'm trying to be ironic so they ignore me. Or they are trying to be ironic by ignoring me even though I'm rich and famous. I don't really understand irony so I'm not sure. Is that ironic?

1366677867 We can both agree that professional athletes are the most appropriate people to discuss irony, but we have other issues.

1366677636 You mean firing Scott Boras and signing a megadeal to stay with the Yankees?

1366677867 No.

1366677636 You mean how the spokeswoman of your charity showed up on the Biogenesis client list?

1366677867 No. I'm not too worried about that. That connection is not very close to me. I'm talking about how you tried to buy the Biogenesis documents. Why did you do that? It just makes you look more guilty.

1366677636 Yeah, I'm not sure why I did that. I always think I need more publicity. Do you ever do something once in a while, then immediately regret it, but if you haven't done it for a time, you forget that you will regret it so you do it anyway?

1366677867 I feel the same way about Panda Express. Good luck with the rest of your rehab.


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