Robinson, thank you for coming to meet me at my supersecret totally off the grid rehab center.

Umm...this is an LA Fitness, and you are wearing a shirt with your name on it. I don't think that is off the grid.

That's why this place is perfect. When people see me here with my own name on my shirt, they think I'm trying to be ironic so they ignore me. Or they are trying to be ironic by ignoring me even though I'm rich and famous. I don't really understand irony so I'm not sure. Is that ironic?

We can both agree that professional athletes are the most appropriate people to discuss irony, but we have other issues.

You mean firing Scott Boras and signing a megadeal to stay with the Yankees?

No.

You mean how the spokeswoman of your charity showed up on the Biogenesis client list?

No. I'm not too worried about that. That connection is not very close to me. I'm talking about how you tried to buy the Biogenesis documents. Why did you do that? It just makes you look more guilty.

Yeah, I'm not sure why I did that. I always think I need more publicity. Do you ever do something once in a while, then immediately regret it, but if you haven't done it for a time, you forget that you will regret it so you do it anyway?

I feel the same way about Panda Express. Good luck with the rest of your rehab.

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