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Yankees News and Notes - I'mGivingYouACaseOfTheMondays

The CRAP Meter will help the Yankees separate the True New Yorkers from the raving postcard eating lunatics in tonight's Draft.
The CRAP Meter will help the Yankees separate the True New Yorkers from the raving postcard eating lunatics in tonight's Draft.

Mood Music - Wheel In The Sky by Journey

Phil Hughes vs. Justin Verlander was the headline in the land of rings yesterday afternoon. The outcome was not what many expected it to be. Hughes and the Yankees defeated Verlander 5-1. Despite his poor performance in Anaheim, the always bullpen bound Hughes pitched an outstanding eight strikeout, one walk, one earned run gem of a game. Despite the Binder's malice and ominous pages of evil, Hughes was allowed to pitch a complete game even though his pitch count was through the roof and heading into orbit. Despite being labelled the greatest pitcher in the league (I swear I heard someone say that either Friday or Saturday), Verlander struggled for his sad, depressing, "Madagascar 3" shameful 6.1 innings of work. I say he should be sent down to Triple AAA to work on his mechanics. Hughes has probably earned himself another start in the Yankees rotation after Sunday's performance. Or, you know, the pen forever.

The Yankees went 6 for 3 on this road trip, which I'mGivingYouARaise thinks is a winning formula. Some fans out there feel that they could've won more if they could just overcome their Riding In Style Position problem. A-Rod and Cano are the most noticeable trouble makers. A-Rod more than Cano. They're just too damn sexy. Kevin Long was asked about how to cure this "sexlexia" and he responded as I hoped he would. Long knows, just like we know, that nothing can really be done about this except to trust that this bad luck will not continue. We could always trade A-Rod for Bautista at the trade deadline to help. I really wish the bad luck would end though. If you read my old Psychological Fan Study, you know that losing because of leaving RISP is my least favorite way to lose. What's really scary is that I think all the RISP loses have made me comfortably numb to the situation. Thanks, I guess.

The 2012 MLB First Year Player Draft is tonight and the Yankees have a game plan. That game plan is to find young players who can succeed in the majors and have the unquestionable ability to play in NY. Some of you may be wondering, "How can the Yankees judge NY fortitude when the young pup hasn't even sniffed the Big Apple yet?" Not to worry folks. Pinstripe Alley found out that the scientific minds at Yankee Labs have a device called the CRAP Meter. The CRAP Meter, or CRazy Always In Pinstripes Meter, will scan the younglings and determine whether they will be able to handle the Yankees lifestyle or will be doomed to an Arkham Asylum amateur softball team. Or the Milwaukee Brewers. Thanks to Jedi and Waffles I am now rooting for the Yankees to sign Stryker Trahan because his name is bad-ass. Thanks you two.

Magglio Ordonez retired from baseball yesterday before the Yankees-Tigers game. He did this to make me feel older. It worked. I feel old now. I managed to catch the tribute and it was handled very nicely. Ordonez definitely made that suit work.

Political comedian Bill Maher has bought a share of the New York Mets. This is nowhere near as awesome as when comedian Jerry Seinfeld joined the Mets broadcast booth during the game. I don't even think it's as awesome as the Mets Amazin'ly holding the Cardinals to one run during their entire weekend series.

MLB thinks that it's never too early to start discussing the Wild Card and 2nd Wild Card. I wholeheartedly disagree with them. They also need to stop blaming this baseball travesty on the 2010 Yankees. It's about money. Screw you, Selig.

The Yankees are off tonight but the Draft is on. Come back later for tonight's 2012 Draft Off-Day Open Thread. For those who do not care about the draft, there will be other awesome topics involving specific foods, specific clothes, and as always specific fun. This thread will also determine who the victor of Game Thread War was. I've also potentially started another war in my 11AM IGYARticle. Why do I have war on the brain lately?