Yankees Unpredictably Predictable, Lose 4-3

At least the Yankees are finding interesting ways to lose. Losing isn't ideal, but at least they find the most ridiculous way possible to do it.

They certainly had their chances to win tonight. Phil Coke did Phil Coke things to give them a chance in the seventh, and Jose Valverde did Phil Coke things to greater extent in the ninth. Trouble is the offense decided to do Phil Coke things as well. Not the point at the sky thing, but given how badly they failed with runners on base, it might not have hurt to try.

The numbers with men on base will change at some point. At least I think they will. They almost have to, right? Through some combination of offensive talent, luck and maybe some voodoo, the offense will put it all together and all will be right with the world. Tonight was not that night, which sucks because tonight was set up perfectly for that to happen.

Stuff happened before the ninth inning, but that can wait awhile. The ninth was basically a half-inning summation of the game as a whole. Up 3-2, Valverde hit Russell Martin with a pitch and walked Derek Jeter to start the inning. Pinch-runner Dewayne Wise and Jeter pulled off a double steal after Curtis Granderson flew out, so they were perfectly set up to tear down a pile of negative narratives all at once. Proven closer, can't hit in the clutch, can't win without a home run, can't hit with runners in scoring position. All gone. They must really like negative narratives.

Valverde loaded the bases by hitting Alex Rodriguez, giving Robinson Cano and Mark Teixeira a chance to play narrative breaker. Cano didn't do his part, but I guess you can say Teixeira did by working a walk to bring in the tying run on a 3-2 count. Does that count as success with runners in scoring position? Guessing not. Professional RBI guy Raul Ibanez was given a shot to show why he's a proven RBI guy, but just couldn't do it. He was actually given two chances and still couldn't do it. A predictable outcome as a team, just in a completely unpredictable way. Have to keep things fresh or people get bored.

It's hard to win when the team goes 1-for-12 with runners in scoring position and leaves 12 men on base, and they didn't. They probably don't deserve to when they do that. David Phelps and Boone Logan combined on a series of events that ended in a game-winning sacrifice fly for Omir Santos. Consider it a mercy kill. It would have been difficult to face the possibility of more failure with runners on.

Things are going to turn around eventually. I'm being repetitive, but it bears repeating. One, because it's true, and two, because I'm exhausted and can't think of clever way to repeat it without repeating it. There's nothing we can do except believe the failure will end at some point. Feel better about this game now? Didn't think so.

Dots

• Hiroki Kuroda was good again. Other than a terrible pitch to a great hitter, he was exactly what they needed him to be. Seven innings, seven hits, two earned runs, four strikeouts and one walk. Hirok.
• Miguel Cabrera is absurd and needs to be outlawed. Look at his career. He's getting better every season and he's still only 29. Pass a law against him.
• The Yankees scored their runs on an Ibanez groundout, a Swisher flare and a Teixeira bases loaded walk. That seems appropriate.
• Bob Davidson ejected Joe Girardi and Kevin Long in the seventh for arguing what appeared to be an awful strike call against Curtis Granderson. Something something, robot umps, other rabble that completely fails to address the actual problem with umpires.
• Joe Buck and Tim McCarver go back to high school.

They tried to pound [A-Rod] inside with hard stuff last night

It squirted between [Russ'] legs there

It. - Various points in the game

Just to make you feel worse about a brutal loss; Verlander. Phil Hughes takes the ball against Justin Verlander tomorrow. That believing thing I talked about is going to be tested tomorrow.

Box Score. Math Class.

Play of the Game: Miguel Cabrera doing Miguel Cabrera things in the 8th (+30.9%)

Comment of the Game: CAYankeesfan on Joba's texting ability. No text speak. It will cause you physical harm.