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Disclaimer for you:
I love haikus, but don't fret-
No hashtags are here.
Joe Girardi
His '09 ring shines,
But might blind his team's future.
Stay away from mops.
Mark Teixeira
Tex wants improvement,
Considers trying to bunt.
Please just go oppo.
Alex Rodriguez
"Kobe's procedure
Might just help the fading star."
Excessive credit.
More whimsy after the jump.
Russell Martin
"He calls a good game!"
"He is just a tough cookie!"
Meaningless drivel.
Francisco Cervelli
Frankie can't hit much.
His defense is not that good.
Compared to Gus? He's Bench.
Robinson Cano
Robbie will get paid
More cash than I can fathom.
For that, stop hacking.
Derek Jeter
The Captain is old,
His second-half surge be damned.
No weak grounders, please.
Brett Gardner
Where is his Gold Glove?
Alex Gordon won that thing?
But his range... DINGERS.
Curtis Granderson
Keep hitting home runs,
Even against the lefties.
Major bank ahoy.
Nick Swisher
The new piemaster
Is better at baseball than
The last piemaster.
CC Sabathia
Pujols: one for nine.
Bautista: one for nineteen.
They are not lefties.
Michael Pineda
Tough to lose Jesus,
But for that fastball/slider...
Quite hard to say no.
Ivan Nova
If the sinker sinks,
There will be no sophomore slump-
Just think Oasis.
Hiroki Kuroda
He's not Irabu.
Igawa? Don't make me laugh.
Simply consistent.
Phil Hughes
Don't be Master Chef.
If he returns, bad news bears.
Bombs away, Yankees fans!
Freddy Garcia
Sir Smoke and Mirrors
Will try it again this year.
Sadly, sans sidekick.
Pedro Feliciano
One Rookie League frame.
Is all they will get from him.
Isn't that just sad?
Sergio Mitre
Stay away from here.
Cash will call, change your number.
Dodge embarrassment.
Mariano Rivera
The end for Sandman?
A championship season,
The perfect coda.
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