Yankees Reportedly to Sign Ichiro Suzuki

Multiple sources on Twitter (Ken Rosenthal, Jon Heyman; as Captain Renault said, round up the usual suspects) are reporting that the Yankees are on the verge, the doorstep, the edge of re-signing the venerable Ichiro Suzuki. Details have yet to be revealed or finalized, so we don't know length, compensation, perks, or if in fact we are thinking of the right Ichiro Suzuki. It could be the other Ichiro Suzuki, the one who is an accountant in Parsippany.

Regardless, if the Yankees' starting outfield is Brett Gardner, Curtis Granderson, and one of these Ichiro fellows, it's going to be one of the least powerful in recent memory -- Keller, DiMaggio, and Henrich this ain't. There is also the possibility, a fairly strong one, that the Yankees think they have signed the guy who hit .322 for them but are really getting the washed-up former great who hit a powerless, OBP-free .265 for the Mariners over the last two seasons.

Stay tuned for more updates, possibly including impressive and distracting sound-effects.