clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

The Brilliant Fan Guide to a Perfect Off-Season

Note: This post is from an email sent to me. The user gave me permission to post this, as long as I do not use their user name. Feel free to comment your thoughts, or just laughter! Enjoy! I did not edit, or change this email in the slightest.

Dear Brandon,

I worry about the Yankees off season. The Red Sox are on the upswing the Rays are potentially the best team in the mlb and the Blue Jays have a ton of pitching. Their hitting is John Lackeying. Speaking of Lackey that guy is a bum. The Red Sox would be smart to trade him to the Indians for Sizemore. CC Sabathia should be named Sizemore actually.

Anywhoo the Yankees need to make some big moves. Big as in resigning the big man himself CC Sabathia. Chris Charles (Brandon note: CC's real name is Carsten Charles) Sabathia is a force to be recognized with and other teams would agree. Would you agree? I agree. Phil Hughes is a good young pitcher with a good young arm that can get hitters out. Thats the goal in baseball as you know. Except for hitters they wanna make their fans proud by hitting long balls that arent caught. A.J. Burnett-or as I like to call him A.J. Badnett- is bad. We should trade him to the Reds along with Cervelli and maybe Betances for Votto. Votto can play first Teshera can play dh and the Yankees can trade Rodriguez to the Dodgers for Matt Kemp.

No Swisher! Down with Swisher! The guy is too happy like a bear or something. Swisher needs to stop smiling and hit the ball seriously. The Yankees should not pick up his option as it is too heavy. Get it? The Yankees should round out their rotation of CC-AJ-Nova-Hughes-? With Braden Looper. Looper has a cool name and has closed before so if Mo loses arm strength he can take over there. Looper also is a good fifth starter but not a good first.

Ever think about moving Jaba to long relief so he can throw more innings? His arm troubles are from the lack of innings so we should fix that. Mitre could have had the same problem. Mitre needs to meet the tray across his head and never show up because of the fear from that. Hahaha!

Finally it is time for the Cash Man- Brian Cashman- to go. Home. Or away I don't care. Get him off the Yankees. All he does is sit around or dance around and never make any moves. The 20010 trade deadline was a mess and the Yankees did nothing and they lost. Boo. We need a good gm like Omar The Champion Minaya who at least gets you closer to the playoffs. I will hire him myself if we need to.

Finally the Yankees need to make it a top priority to move the fences in like the Mets are doing. Create more home runs and in hance the play of base ball. Good day to you sir and let us be going Yankees! Get it?