Having seen only one other E! True Hollywood Story, I'm not really sure what to expect when I start watching the documentary on baseball wives. For 1 hour, I'm served a glimpse of the unconventional lifestyles punctuating the routines of relationships mired in MLB careers.
Along with Casey Daigle, Scott Proctor, and Cole Hamels, Jorge Posada discusses married life and demonstrates why baseball news shouldn't be funneled through E! any more than the Super Bowl should be watched in the Pottery Barn.
Laura Posada recounts how Jorge and Derek Jeter met her at a bar one night, and from then on he essentially stalked her for months until he left for the season, but not without exchanging dramatic embraces at the train station.
If this is true, then Posada is either a charming romantic or borderline creepy,
"He left CDs in my mailbox for months," Laura tells us. Alright, I love Posada as much as the next guy, but I don't care who you are, if you're leaving anything in my mailbox for months, let alone obsessive music compilations, you're getting earmarked for a restraining order.
So I prefer to believe it's not true, because the only time this gratuitously cliched storyline plays out is if James Van Der Beek and Katie Holmes are recreating it.
Cole Hamels and Survivor stripper Heidi Strobel shared a similar grandiose gesture affair, when he asked for her autograph at a minor league game. Then flew out to MIssouri the next day to meet her parents. Standard courtship behavior.
How is this possible? I've dated guys for the duration of the off-season without them ever stepping foot inside my parents' house. And truthfully, I'd like to believe that the World Series MVP isn't a dreamy-eyed softie who pants after a woman who, while adorably sweet, actually said, "I mean, people need to realize it's just a game."
I've killed people for less.
Casey Daigle and Jennie Finch used their time on camera constructively, as they continued to attempt putting the question to bed once and for all which one of them is more mindnumbingly dull. By the show's conclusion, they remained in dead heat, and we are no closer to an answer.
Former Yankee reliever Scott Proctor married his quasi-high school sweetheart, and out of everything Carrie and Scott talked about, the most hilarious line was easily from Mrs. Proctor:
"I know girls are going to be obnoxious and try to make photos that look like they're going home with him, but I know better."
And such is, and will remain, the official party line of every baseball wife.
The show tried in earnest to portray these couples as transcending the stereotypes of trophy wives who turn a blind eye to their husbands transgressions. And there were admittedly endearing segments, such as Heidi Hamels shedding a genuine tear over her husband's championship. Or Posada recalling the emotional rollercoaster of his son's medical hardships.
But overall, the entire production seemed a little too laden with "The woman doth protest too much." Each wife underscored how they've risen above the temptations and pitfalls, and for some reason, I wasn't buying it.
And yet I'm still profoundly impacted by what I saw.
Not because of the touching moments of genuine sensitivities, though. "E! True Hollywood Story: Baseball Wives" encroached on sacred ground. Posada, Proctor, Daigle, and Hamels play baseball (some more convincingly than others, but semantics).
The fact of the matter is, as a baseball fan, I have a natural vested interest in the players populating the field. But what they do in their free time is immaterial.
And now E! has effectively penetrated that bubble I choose to live in. Thank you, E. Now every time I watch Posada throw out a base stealer or hit an RBI double, I'm going to think about him putting an engagement ring in a cheesecake.