Well, those weren't the exact words he used, but I decided to translate for him.
"I'm failing at retirement," he said. "Let's just face it. I'm failing miserably at it."
The 44-year-old right-hander, unsure whether to retire or return for a 24th major league season, was the keynote speaker for the St. John's winter baseball banquet on Wednesday night.
As for potentially coming back to the Yankees, we once again go to the videotape (so to speak):
Clemens planned to see some of his former Yankees teammates this week. He expects them to push for a return to pinstripes, following the example of close friend Andy Pettitte, who played alongside him in the Bronx and Houston.
"I'm sure they're going to be beating on me pretty hard," Clemens said.
For the rest of Clemens' noncommittal offerings, you can go here.
My opinion: we've had enough noncommittal, 40-something, injury-prone pitchers on this team the last few years to last me a mental lifetime. The steroid rumors could grow louder and become a distraction too.
We have Wang, Mussina, Pettitte, Igawa and potentially Pavano (I know, try not to laugh too hard) in this rotation already. There is a two-word answer to the Clemens dilemma.
If that doesn't work, the ridiculous amount of money we would spend on Clemens could be put towards a nice midseason acquisition (which is when Clemens would start pitching anyhow, even at $15-$20 mil per), one who hasn't already reached athletic menopause.