In Defense of the Author

So I have been reading your site for quite a while. Have often felt compelled to write but never felt the need to try to break into a somewhat exclusive community. You all often eventually say much of what I think. But the Josh Hamilton deal got me to thinking so I figured I'd sign up and pay my dues with a Fanpost.

Brandon, I generally enjoy your writing and admire your patience and sensibility in most things (and your Skittles obsession). But the objection you made to Passan's characterization of Hamilton's relapse was either a bit shortsighted or formed before you were aware of Hamilton's own comments, which tend to support the notion that Hamilton had a moment where he simply didn't care…an intense symptom of his addiction and the very reason why he will always battle it, barring some miracle cure for addiction in the future (where's my jetpack?).

I'm not a doctor, though I play one on television. But I waste a lot of time watching BS shows like Intervention (some compelling stuff sometimes, probably all scripted, but let me believe in Santa Claus for a minute). I've also watched the four-letter network's 30/30 or 50/50 or whatever other sort of special it was on Chris Herren. It is an extremely intimate look into that guy's life and experience as a star athlete with a severe addiction to just about anything on which he could get his hands. It follows him around to prisons, high schools and community centers where he tells his story, the story of the star high school athlete who was on the fast track to basketball at a top D-1 school, was drafted in the 2nd round of the NBA draft, dominated when he played, but was absorbed by the discovery of drugs and alcohol back when it all started in high school in his home town of Fall River, MA. He talked about how it spiraled out of control. He talked about how no matter how many times he quit, went to rehab, was tore up about the state of his life (and poor financial state considering he ended up pulling $50K/week - cash - in Spain and his family was still broke), and said "No more", he felt that tug again as soon as he was sober. If you haven't yet seen it, I believe it is worth the hour-and-a-half. Most importantly, it is a vivid account of addiction. Herren's story honestly hits its lowest point (in my view) when he leaves his kids at home to "go get them donuts." He drove to the Dunkin' Donuts to meet his dealer, leaving his young children at home alone. He immediately proceeded to get high in the parking lot of that Dunkin' Donuts. He awoke in cuffs having put his car in gear and driven it into the Dunkin' Donuts. He had no recollection of any of it. If I remember correctly, it was at least his 3rd time in jail to that point.

As he tells these stories, I am convinced that Chris Herren loves his wife (who is smokin' hot, by the way) even more than when they met in the 6th grade, loves his family, adores his children and would do anything in this world to protect them from harm. I really have no question of that. When he is sober and not in need, he knows how significant everyone around him and in his life are to him. He cares. But he himself, like Hamilton, admits to these moments where nothing else matters. Moments where he doesn't care. Hamilton essentially admitted as much in his mea culpa, which I read after Passan's article because I wanted to know more about Hamilton's condition and his reasoning. Like Herren, Josh Hamilton has a disease. He acknowledges it and he knows every morning when he wakes up, he's going to have to fight it. And it is a constricting physical vise that presses upon him at all times. And for the past 3 years he fought that fight. For one night at least, he didn't care. He gave into temptation and he didn't fight. It is unfortunate for him. He is a superlative baseball talent. I think everyone here pretty much likes and respects him quite a bit (if only he wasn't on the Rangers). I also think that he is genuinely a good person with a severe physical limitation. I can only imagine what he goes through on a day-to-day basis.

For a moment, Josh Hamilton didn't care about the consequences and surrendered to his addiction despite everything and everyone he knew would be affected. To me, that is the very definition of not caring. But as his comments indicate, he cares today. And he's a generally caring person, I believe.

When the fan fell from the stands for the ball Hamilton threw and I watched the opening pitch with that fan's kid later that week at the All Star game, I told a friend of mine that it was only a matter of time before Josh falls again. I only hope that this warning shot (if it was actually only alcohol), is enough to wake him and those around him to the dangers he still faces every day. If it didn't, this is just the tip of the iceberg.

I'm not a religious person but my thoughts go out to him and his family, as well to all those who suffer with addictions like that. Fortunately for Josh, there are plenty of resources to which he can turn for help. So many that suffer like him don't have that opportunity. I hope he gets well and wins this battle sooner rather than later. And further hope he lives long into the war and gives us all years of more great baseball.

Thanks for all the writing and links to news on the Yankees and for the community in general. I have a been a fan of the Yankees since the age of 4 thanks to my New London, CT-native grandfather, his daughter (my mom) and her brother. You guys can all be pretty funny and reasonable most of the time. I'm optimistic about the team's chances this year. I also have some thoughts to share on what I think "1-3" needs to do to be good for the Yankees for at least some significant portion of his remaining contract.

I will save that for another post if my feelings aren't too hurt by the forthcoming skewering. Thank you for reading if you've made it this far [DID NOT READ]. I expect this will incite some critique, so fire away.