Pinstripe Alley Glossary

Hi everyone! It's Brian5517209 with my new screen name. I figured that since the new season has started and is in full swing we will be getting a lot of new traffic and new members that want to participate in the colorful discussions that we get into. I thought I would be helpful and create a glossary for commonly used persons, terms, slogans, phrases, acronyms, etc. that are used during our Yankees discourse. If I miss anything feel free to add more in the comments. Enjoy! 

1927 New York Yankees- The greatest team of all time until they were usurped by the eventual 2011 World Series Champions.

2011 World Series Champions- See: Boston Red Sox.

Angry Dome- The place in the post game thread where you can RAGE about a Yankees loss.

ARDO- Alex Rodriguez. Highly paid and underappreciated. Baseball's antagonist since Barry Bonds retired. See: Centaur.

BABIP Gods- The deities who dictate where balls hit into play land.

Baby Jesus- Jesus Montero. Top rated prospect and Messiah. The son.

Bad AJ- The AJ Burnett that shows up all too often. When he shows up the Yankees Win Probability becomes negative 1,000,000.

Ballgame- There are two interpretations to this. 1) Poster is making a statement acknowledging that he is aware of what is currently going on. 2) Poster is making a conjecture that the game is, for all intensive purposes, over. (h/t to Wraithpk).

Banhammer- When comments made become so egregious that action must be taken, you will receive this.

Barndon- The Superman to staff writer Brandon C's Clark Kent; he feasts upon the rotting flesh of the damned. Also, Skittles.

Barnhammer- Sort of like the Banhammer, but a thousand times worse. If this ever happens to you, all meaning to your life evaporates.

Batting Averagez- The true measure of a hitter's ability in the eye's of the mainstream media. If yours is high enough then Joe Morgan will fellate you.

BEMVP- Bases Empty Most Valuable Player. Robinson Cano circa 2009, where he could not for the life of him get a hit with runners in scoring position.

Black Taco- Rallying cry during the Yankees 2009 playoff run that ended is glorious success. Based after the Taco Bell commercials that were airing at the time.

Boston Red Sox- The Little Engine That Could (h/t to NoMaas). There is nothing that I can say about these heroes that you haven't heard already on ESPN.

Buck- Joe Buck. Because the national audience didn't want somebody who acted impartial.

Cashman/Cashmon3y- Brian Cashman. Frequent target of criticism but an all-around good General Manager. Sometimes suggested that he be DFA'd.

Centaur- Occult creature with the upper-body of a man and the lower-body of a horse. Lives on a steady diet of popcorn and kale. Plays third base for the New York Yankees. See: ARDO.

Cervelli- Francisco Cervelli. The greatest player to ever put on the pinstripes. The holy spirit.

Chan Ho Duggan- Alter ego of staff writer and baseball connoisseur Lord Duggan. I don't remember the joke that got him this nickname but it had something to do with he being no funny.

DFA _______- When any player or someone in management on the Yankees does something that does not help the Yankees win (get's an out, gives up a hit, hands out a bad contract, makes a bad bullpen decision, etc.) it is often suggested that they be designated for assignment. Good thing the folks and Pinstripe Alley do not get their way, or else the Yankees would not have a team.

Dominican Milkshake- Delicious treats that will increase your weight by hundred pounds and allow you to hit fifty home runs. Definitely not cheating at all.

DOOMED- When it becomes apparent that epic failure is the only plausible outcome. The Yankees, perpetually, are this.

Eighth Inningz- This inning>>>>>>>>>>>>>all other innings. Combined.

El Chato- Jorge Vazquez. Spanish for "The Flat One."

Fire Girardi- Pretty self explanatory.

Flagged.- When a comment is made that someone disagrees with, it is flagged, whether deserved or not.

Francesa-Mike Francesa, sports radio personality. Greatest scout in the history of baseball, has the unique ability to recognize exactly what it takes to be a pitchah in Major League Baseball.

GGBG- Stands for Gritty Gutty Brett Gardner, was made popular by the folks over at LoHud.

Good AJ- When AJ Burnett decides not to suck. Does not make the members of Pinstripe Alley cringe every wind-up.

Hamburgler- Bartolo Colon. He is fat.

Heart- The drive to win, the desire to succeed. Due to the uncanny number of cardiologists who post on Pinstripe Alley it is widely known that the Yankees have none.

Houdini-David Robertson. Nicknamed this due to his penchant for getting out of jams, such as during the bases loaded situation in the 2009 ALDS.

HUSE- Phillip Hughes. He is a stahting pitchah.

Joba- Joba Chamberlain. Most talked about Yankees player of all time. See: teh putz, teh pen, teh bust. He is not a stahting pitchah.

Jones- Kim Jones, sideline reporter for the YES network. I would, and you would too.

Journeyman- Curtis Granderson, destined to be nothing more than a platoon outfielder due to his penchant for getting lost at the plate (and on the basepaths, and in the clubhouse).

Kay- Michael Kay, broadcaster for the YES network. Emmy award winning broadcast journalist who has captured the imagination of a generation of Yankees fans.

ManBan- Manny Banuelos, the most exciting pitching prospect the Yankees have had since Phil Hughes and Joba Chamberlain circa 2007.

McCarver- Tim McCarver. MLB broadcaster who explains the game as if his entire audience has never seen a baseball game before.

MFIKY-Rafeal Soriano. Stands for Motherf*cker I Kill You. He is not a happy man. (h/t to w/e the Braves SB blog is).

MO- Mariano Rivera. Also known as God, the immortal. He is not of this world. The father.

MY EYES- Everything that you see with these are 100% fact; stats, charts, graphs, and second opinions be damned.

Pap(pejorative suffix)- Jonathan Papelbon. The human rain delay, will take twenty minutes to throw four pitches. Will do an Irish Jig if he gives up less then three runs in an inning.

Pause- Anything that you say that could be misconstrued by one of the dozens of degenerates that inhabit Pinstripe Alley will be met with this response.

Pettitte- Also known as Pettite, Petitte, Petite, or Pettitttittett. Andy Pettitte, ex-pitcher of the New York Yankees who made me a sad when he retired. He is a stahting pitchah.

Pie- When the Yankees have an opportunity for a walkoff hit, then the members of Pinstripe Alley call for pie. Of which Nick Swisher will gladly provide.

Pissant- Derogatory slur for Red Sox fans of an ignorant nature (some of them aren't completely insufferable); they cannot pronounce the letter R. Ex: "Bahd thows wicked hahd!"

RAB- River Avenue Blues, popular Yankees blog that is occasionally referenced.

Rally Girl- Pictures of scantily clad women that were posted to try to spur rallies during the 2008 and parts of 2009 season. Were banned so as to not ruin the innocence of some members.

RUNS- If you have more of these at the end of the game than the other team does, then you win. We want them.

SABR- Short for sabermetrics. If you do not understand them please acquaint yourself with fangraphs.com. You will be glad you did.

SADO- Jorge Posada. Long-time catcher and current DH for the Yankees. When he gets a hit the other team gets Sadomized! (h/t to Free).

SMH-Shake My Head. Nature's reaction to stupidity.

Supernova- Ivan Nova. The nickname is appropriate as he has the innate abilitiy to implode around the fourth inning.

Teh Book- The mystical grimoire where Joe Girardi keeps all of his managerial knowledge. It originated in a parallel universe where sacrifice bunting, Cody Ransom, and Boone Logan are good ideas.

Teh Bust- Whenever a young pitcher for the Yankees does not throw a perfect game, or a young hitter for the Yankees does not hit two walk-off grand slams in one game, they are this.

Teh Cliff- Dumbass who thinks that the Phillies are younger then the Yankees. His wife is the first human/handkerchief hybrid.

Teh Crazy- An extreme mental disorder that suggests that if you were to pitch in New York you would go postal. It is easy to spot, and does not require a degree in psychology to diagnose. See: Zack Greinke.

Teh Felix- Young Cy Young award winning pitcher for the Mariners. It is often suggested that we trade Joba, Romine, and Pena for him. We have no idea why Cashman does not take our advice.

Teh Font- The font that implies that you are using sarcasm. It is not really needed considering that ninety percent of all comments are already of a sarcastic/facetious nature.

Teh Pen- The place where young cost-controlled pitchers who have been starters their entire life with three plus pitches are sent to die.

Teh Putz- Putz putz putz putz putz putz putz putz putz putz putz putz putz putz putz putz putz. See: Joba Chamberlain.

The Formula- Concocted in the Devil's basement, this sacred ritual requires the tooth from Cerberus, a virgin's blood, a newborn's flesh, an angel's wing, a witches cackle, and for Joba Chamberlain, Rafeal Soriano, and Mariano Rivera to pitch back to back innings with a lead. See: Teh Book.

To Teh Pen- The call for any player, pitcher or not, to reside in the bullpen where their abilities would best be put to use.

Torre'd- Whenever a relief pitcher is abused, maimed, raped, assaulted, waterboarded, battered, killed, or bitchslapped, they are this.

True Yankee-In order to be a True Yankee you must come up with clutch hits, bases loaded strikeouts, and your name cannot start with an Alex or end with a Rodriguez.

Wagon- When someone decides to support something that they were originally not for or against.

WINS- The more of these you have, the better pitcher you are. It is as simple as that.

Zack Grienke- Trade target this last offseason and current pitcher for the Milwaukee Brewers. It was personally testified by some guy that stood outside of his house that the guy was incapable of handling New York because he likes to play video games or whatever. See: Teh crazy.