Yankees Trade for Felix Hernandez

by pastor2b on Apr 27, 2011 2:57 PM EDT

In a surprise move which shocked the entire baseball world, the New York Yankees announced Wednesday that they had reached an agreement with the Seattle Mariners that would bring Felix Hernandez to New York. In exchange, the Mariners requested the Yankees' star benchwarmer Ramiro Pena and a bucket of golf balls.

When asked about the reasoning behind this trade, a spokesman for the Mariners had this to say:

"Well, we decided that what we are doing right now really won't help us at all when it comes to winning games. What we need is better luck. I mean, we send Felix out there every 5 days and he pitches us a gem, but for some reason every ball we hit manages to find a glove! The BABIP gods must be angry with us! When we realized this, we had to ask ourselves what we could do to make this change. Then we realized what we needed: better luck. Look at the Yankees: They always manage a winning season with Ramiro Pena on their bench. They guy doesn't even have to play an out and they still somehow manage to win! Even without him on their 25-man roster, they have the most home runs in the Major League; it must be something about having him in their system. So with him warming our bench, we should be unstoppable!

"But if that doesn't work," he said, looking over at the golf balls, "at least we'll be well-stocked for when we hit the greens in October."

Sources: www.espn.com

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by MichaelGGBGrabow on Apr 27, 2011 3:02 PM EDT reply actions

-1

by Scooby Snacks on Apr 27, 2011 3:05 PM EDT reply actions

Sigh

The jokes are getting as old as the real comments.

Follow me on twitter @nyybrandonc

"Blame is just a lazy person's way of making sense of chaos."

"No matter what I talk about, I always get back to baseball."

by Brandon C. on Apr 27, 2011 3:09 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs

rec’d

Unless you're a pitcher or Gustavo Molina, kindly SWING THE BAT and ignore the Binder's bunt signal.

by Andrew GM on Apr 27, 2011 10:22 PM EDT up reply actions

Screw Felix

Hanely is batting .200 we should trade for him while his value is low!

by lololol on Apr 27, 2011 3:28 PM EDT reply actions

Maybe they'll take just the bucket of golf balls!

Then we can still trade Pena for Felix, lol

by pastor2b on Apr 27, 2011 3:41 PM EDT up reply actions

Boo.

Follow me on twitter

by Jeterian 2 on Apr 27, 2011 3:52 PM EDT reply actions

DISCO YOUR KEYBOARD AND HIT YOURSELF WITH IT!

by TheYankeeClipper on Apr 27, 2011 3:53 PM EDT reply actions

*throws tomato

So I cut his wrist...vertically!! He was on the floor dyin'...makin a sceene!!

by Briceratops on Apr 27, 2011 4:17 PM EDT reply actions

I debated deleting this for a few minutes…

"Nature never intended for you to survive here. But this fall, nature isn't the only thing to fear." September 10, 2011. Alabama vs. Penn State. White House.

by Chris McKeown on Apr 27, 2011 4:22 PM EDT reply actions

Let's just have all of our fanposts on the right have something to do with Felix Hernandez!

So I cut his wrist...vertically!! He was on the floor dyin'...makin a sceene!!

by Briceratops on Apr 27, 2011 4:26 PM EDT up reply actions

I did the same. Don’t know what to do with the power!

Follow me on twitter @nyybrandonc

"Blame is just a lazy person's way of making sense of chaos."

"No matter what I talk about, I always get back to baseball."

by Brandon C. on Apr 27, 2011 4:33 PM EDT up reply actions

We should trade for Larry Bernandez!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pf_HoE-mRoQ&feature=related

"Son, Nobody is half as good as Mickey Mantle"

by ntrokel on Apr 27, 2011 4:37 PM EDT reply actions

Billy Madison " we are all now dumber for listening to you & may god have mercy on your soul…" please STOP dreaming about trading for him, he’s off to a bad start TOO
& everyone seem to notice mr CLIFF LEE is off to a less then stellar start with PHILLY … no need to panic. there is no dominant team in MLB this yr…no one is gonna run away with the races…& please CASHMAN don’t trade away the FARM AGAIN…yanks AREN"T gonna win every year… time to get younger & cheaper is NOW…

by cmypath78 on Apr 27, 2011 4:50 PM EDT reply actions

You suck. I believed it for a split, split second

WHEN YOU DESCRIBE the prototypical NBA center, he is not complete without superlative size, strength and athleticism. He’ll fight for the tough rebounds in the trenches, but is just as quick to burn you with a shot from 15 feet.

Johan Petro possesses all of these skills and more, and at a mere 23 years of age, he bears all the promise of fulfilling his vast potential.

by i says on Apr 27, 2011 5:21 PM EDT reply actions