Red Sox Become First Team in History to Win World Series in April
by Brandon C. on Apr 1, 2011 10:00 AM EDT
in Miscellaneous
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PrintThe Boston Red Sox were named World Series Champions today by Bud Selig, becoming the first team in MLB history to win the World Series without playing a single game.
I was on the scene as Selig described the Red Sox as the "best team since the 1927 Yankees," and "overall favorites to win anyway."
When asked about the decision, Selig said -
With the completely necessary signing of Carl Crawford and trading for Adrian Gonzalez, the Red Sox became the obvious favorites to win the 2011 World Series. After examining the rosters of all the teams in the MLB, I came to the conclusion that it is in the best interest of the game to declare the Red Sox as World Series Champions.
Selig also cited various outlets that declared the Red Sox as the clear favorites to win the title -
The Red Sox celebrated with champagne in the clubhouse, as they heard the news when they were preparing to take the field against reigning AL Champions, the Texas Rangers. Jonathan Papelbon did his (in)famous victory dance, but was then told by John Henry that he had been released.If ESPN says it, it has to happen, right? Us folks in MLB do not want teams to be embarrassed by such a powerhouse, so we decided to save them from the embarrassment and end their seasons before they started.
Another player that was overcome with emotion was Dustin Pedroia, the Red Sox' minuscule monster -
You know I was bullied by guys like Alex Rodriguez in elementary school. He would push me around and call me "midget," but this, this really shows him! One day I will get a ladder and look him straight in the eyes and laugh at him.
Selig originally wanted to hand the title to the Philadelphia Phillies, but after the injuries to Brad Lidge and Chase Utley, as well as his visit to Jimmy Rollins, he changed his mind -
Midway through our conversation, Rollins stopped and predicted what I would say next. It was quite annoying, especially because I was way off. When he said that he thought Ohio State was better than Wisconsin, I lost it and suspended him for "doping."
Next, Selig wanted to name the Brewers as the World Series champs, but he said that that "could mess up Zack Greinke's head" and that he didn't want to "cause problems" with Greinke's mindset. When told that Greinke was, in fact, not a psychopath, and that a small injury does not mean Greinke could not be an effective pitcher this season, Selig laughed and said "good one guys."
The odd part of the meeting was when reporter Joel Sherman asked Selig about possible replay expansion. Selig declined to say there would be any further usage of instant replay, and immediately had a shoe thrown at him by an angry fan, believed to be Pete Rose wandering around.
While Selig did not mention who would be named 2012 World Series Champions, he hinted at the New York Mets, saying "c'mon it has to be a team that everyone feels horrible for."
*The quotes from this post in no way reflect the true beliefs of Bud Selig or anyone else quoted and are completely made up. This is an April Fools post, and the Red Sox in fact have not been named World Series Champions (yet)*
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Clearly... you dont remember
the 86 Royals.
Statistics are like a girl in a bikini. They show a lot, but not everything.
the red sox can still go 0-162, my dream has yet to be crushed
I listen to Enter Sandman before taking exams. I wear the exact same jersey every Giants game. The Rangers goal song goes off in my head when I achieve small successes in life.
HEN-RIK
by BombersGmenBlueshirts25 on Apr 1, 2011 10:35 AM EDT reply actions
That photo makes me want to refer to Papelbon as Captain Poopypants from now on
For obvious reasons
"Game's the same, just got more fierce." ~ Slim Charles
Ohio St IS better than Wisconsin
Hilarious artice
If we dont get the 3 and out, well, when is the turnover coming?
2-1
Over the Monster -- SB Nation's Resident Red Sox Site
USG
by Ben Buchanan on Apr 1, 2011 11:47 AM EDT up reply actions
Favorites on paper rarely win
In 2010, the WS was supposed to be a repeat of Phillies/Yankees. The Giants were not expected to make the playoffs by most sports writers and won it all.
It is great to be the favorites on paper but they must execute on the field first. I expect the Yankees & Red Sox will meet in the ALCS and the Yankees will prevail as we usually do. I do not expect the Giants to make the playoffs.
by YANKEES FOREVER on Apr 1, 2011 12:01 PM EDT reply actions
I LOVE how much confidence everyone has in this team
2 points, first: yes they got Crawford and Gonzalez which is huge, but they also lost VMart and Beltre who both played a big part in their offense last year.
second: two words— Beckett Daisuke
by MichaelGGBGrabow on Apr 1, 2011 12:52 PM EDT reply actions
OMG, SRZLY? WTF?!
Haha, nice satirical April Fool’s Day article. But seriously, may misfortune plague the Red Sox for many cursed years to come.
so if the Red Sox do win the world series
will we be cursed with the curse of Alfredo Aceves or the curse of Gustavo Molina?
There’s no hypothetical with the Gustavo Molina curse. He’s already a curse on the Yankees.
by Jedi Master A-Rod on Apr 1, 2011 1:16 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
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No, really ... Before I started the juice it was this long!"
"Baseball is the background music of my life." -George Will
"Best team since the 1927 Yankees?"
Without playing a game? Really? I seem to remember a team back in 1998 that was pretty good too.
remember the 2008 Tigers?
they traded for Miguel Cabrera and teh ace Dontrelle Willis and they were the favorites entering the season
and then they started 0-7 and the rest is history
CHARLES NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Nice article
"We play today, we win today. Das it!"
by Chris McKeown on Apr 1, 2011 1:41 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
Dang phone
Nice article, Barnd! Don’t take this with a grain of salt… This is serious stuff.
"We play today, we win today. Das it!"
by Chris McKeown on Apr 1, 2011 1:42 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
typical Yankee fans, when any other team gets picked they cry
so many years it is the Yankees picked and no one complains. On paper the Red Sox look like thebestteam, every single seasonsportscasters pick the winner of teh WS, and the Super Bowl and the Stanley Cup..and most times the so called experts pick the same 2 or 3 teams. Most times they are wrong
in the immortal words of the great Chris Berman, “That’s why we play the game”
Any task BIG or small, Do it well or not at all
paps got the cigar ready...... smh
QPU # 3 (population: 1)
UNugg Member #15
"I heard Hank Bauer tell the pitcher not to walk this guy.Then on the first pitch he threw me, I hit a home run over centerfield over the fense"
"That was the easy part, the hard part was running around the bases"
Right Now, the Sux are tied for last place
While the Yankees are all alone in first.
But not to worry, the Sux winning percentage is merely 1.000 behind that of the Yankees.
And Joba Chamberlain has outperformed the entire Sux pitching staff thus far.
My goodness.
How short was Pedroia in elementary school? I imagine they had to build special steps for him to step over a curb.
"When my time on Earth is gone, and my activities here are past, I want they bury me upside down so all my critics can kiss my a**"- Bob Knight
"Talent is God-given, be grateful. Fame is man-given, be humble. Conceit is self-given, be careful."- John Wooden
"Never take anything for granted. Don't forget, great prices have been paid and will be paid again if you become too smug, too egotistical and self-assured."- Johnny Cash
by JumpinJackFlash on Apr 1, 2011 4:52 PM EDT up reply actions
I knew this was an April Fools joke as soon as I read the first sentence.
Nice try though.
Making no sense since 1994...
Watching the Phillies game
and a complete meltdown by their closer Lyon in the 9th
by BlackandGoldSSgt on Apr 1, 2011 3:55 PM EDT reply actions
Well, it appears that Goodell will need to appoint the next Super Bowl winner
Since they won’t actually be playing any games to see who wins.
No worries. Rex Ryan has declared the Jets SB champs.
"There's no place like it, and it's ours." - Stephen King on Fenway Park
by 808BostonSportsFan on Apr 2, 2011 11:33 PM EDT up reply actions
i love how these people forget we got 2 similar players
in grandy and tex but because they did it more recently i guess they ar a better team
ill put it this way
C. Martin vs. Salty…. Martin
1B. gonzo vs. tex …..wash
2B. pedroia vs. Cano…… wash ( and im being extremely generous )
3B. arod vs youkilis….. wash ( arod has bad year and still is almost as good as youks good year)
SS. scutaro vs. Jeter….. Jeter
LF. Crawford vs. Gardner…. Crawford ( no gettting around that )
CF. Elsbury vs. Grandy…. Grandy ( Jacoby sucks im sorry )
RF. Swish vs. whoever they decide to put out there…. Swish
Rotation….. Boston
Bullpen….. Yanks
but all that really means is boston is clearly the favorite of course even though we kinda won the whole team thing here…… please correct me if im wrong somewhere
the last couple of years Youkilis>A-Rod
I’m not saying A-Rod won’t have a monster year but let’s be real here
we don’t know how A-Gonz will perform in the AL East yet but the last three years statistics show that Tex>A-Gonz
and Cano>Pedroia by a significant margin
CHARLES NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
i hink alex is going to show that not only is he the best player on ny
but we will go back to the pujols arod discussion even at 35
by SLAUGHTERHOUSE on Apr 1, 2011 9:23 PM EDT up reply actions
Technically
Since this article came out today, the Sox technically had to have been declared the winners in March. Especially since games started yesterday, on 3/31. If you’re going to declare a winner, you have to do it before the season starts. So, I’d like to point out the error in the writing that the Sox were declared the winner in April. It was in March. So there.
;-)
They will win it all...
so much so, that them Sox figured they give everyone a 1 game head start already :)
they are such good sports…those fellas up in northern new england tea territory
That's just Ridiculous!
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