Angry Email Part II
by Brandon C. on Jun 23, 2010 2:00 PM EDT
in Miscellaneous
Email
PrintBack in March I posted an email that I recieved from an angry fan. Well, not sure if this is the same fan, but I have recieved another interesting email. This one is about basically the entire season and has a solid combination of mis-spellings, horrible trade ideas, and just plain awfulness. I obviously cannot reveal anything about the sender (all I know is the email address) but to me it seems like an angry teenager. Enjoy after the jump!
This season has been very dissapointing for the Bronx Bombers. I have seen over and over again A.J. Burnett fail. I used to call him Awesome Job Burnett but I now call him awful joke Burnett (see I even un capitolized it) The Yankees rotation has been good but can be better. My first idea would be to trade Burnett Pena and Russo to the Mariners for Cliff Lee and Joe Lopez. (Guessing he means Jose) Lopez can shore up the infield and Lee can shore up the rotation.
My next idea would be much awesomer. It requires cash exchange likely (and Im not talking about the general manager LOL!) The Yankees should trade Brett "the gardy man can" Gardner and Curtis "the grandy man can" Granderson to the Rays for Carlo Pena, JayJay Bartlett (shore up the infield) and B.J. (personal favorite nicknamed Bobby Jones) Upton! That shores up tons of problems for the Boys in the Bronx!
Finally my final idea is to do too things. Ask Tommy Glavine to unretire and help our bullpen down the stretch as a lefty reliever. Also get Chippy Chip Jones from the Braves for a prospect of there choice (just not Houston Romine...GET IT! HOUSTON!) Braves llook like a real contender with Cox and Jones riding there last season out together and i dont want them to beat us in world series!
What are your thoughts Brandon? Good moves? Love to hear feedback! Would have posted it on Pinstripe Alley but i dont have username and am very lazy!
I must say that that was one of the best and most....uh....interesting emails I have ever recieved. He got his wish, it's on Pinstripe Alley! Hey, who knows, maybe Bobby Jones Upton or Houston Romine will read it! Hope this gave you guys some good laughs!
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My thoughts exactly
Writer for Pinstripe Alley.
"Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth."
"So I close in saying that I may have had a tough break, but I have an awful lot to live for."
Seriously?
All I could do was facepalm after reading this silliness. :P
Bringing Absurdity to New Heights!
Giant facepalm
Writer for Pinstripe Alley.
"Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth."
"So I close in saying that I may have had a tough break, but I have an awful lot to live for."
I lied!
Writer for Pinstripe Alley.
"Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth."
"So I close in saying that I may have had a tough break, but I have an awful lot to live for."
For those wondering about B.J. Upton's real name
From wikipedia
His nickname, B. J., is short for “Bossman Junior” because his father was once known as Bossman
Writer for Pinstripe Alley.
"Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth."
"So I close in saying that I may have had a tough break, but I have an awful lot to live for."
+1
Writer for Pinstripe Alley.
"Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth."
"So I close in saying that I may have had a tough break, but I have an awful lot to live for."
It’s better than BJ Cummings though.
by 3460kuri on Jun 23, 2010 3:39 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
omg i am lmfao so bad!
Yankees all day.
"People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring." ~Rogers Hornsby
"If you're not doing it right, you're doing it wrong. And there's no in between." ~Mark "Lunch" McKenzie
As my wife's people would say "Oy Vey"
"I don't want one of those guys who'll drive in two but let in three every game." Casey Stengel
by tnredneckyankeesfan on Jun 23, 2010 2:10 PM EDT reply actions
This can't be real, it just can't be.
Just in case it is, now is a good time for that Billy Madison quote.
"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?"
by Gelatin on Jun 23, 2010 2:12 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
Yeah I think it's fake
Just a BIT too over-the-top.
by Girardi Party on Jun 24, 2010 7:27 AM EDT up reply actions
Would you like me to forward you the email?
Writer for Pinstripe Alley.
"Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth."
"So I close in saying that I may have had a tough break, but I have an awful lot to live for."
Haha no you misunderstood
I’m not saying you wrote it, just saying that whoever did may have done it a bit tongue-in-cheek
by Girardi Party on Jun 24, 2010 1:30 PM EDT up reply actions
Ahh
You never know!
Writer for Pinstripe Alley.
"Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth."
"So I close in saying that I may have had a tough break, but I have an awful lot to live for."
How did Brian Cashman get your email address? He really
should stop sending you these emails.
He's gotta be pulling your leg...
…because I have too much faith in humanity to think he’s being serious.
If he was…God help us all. We’ll all retire to bedlam.
You remember that one?
I only have a few probably sometime in July when the trade deadline nears I’ll get more emails about good trade ideas (by good i mean hilarious) once i get 5 or 6 il send em along
Writer for Pinstripe Alley.
"Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth."
"So I close in saying that I may have had a tough break, but I have an awful lot to live for."
Yeah dude, this has to be a joke. There's no way a rational human can think like this,.
Who can be that obsessed with “shoring up the infield”? Where is Bartlett gonna play? Short? 3b? 2nd? First?
This has to be a joke or the ramblings of a complete idiot.
Strikeouts are boring- Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls - it's more democratic.
LOL
makes that fanpost about trading Granderson and Joba for Lee and Bradley look genius. Ask Glavine to unretire? Get Chipper Jones?
He does realize the Yankees are in first place right?
So i guess...
Omar Minaya is secretly a yanks fan and a has bestowed his wisdom upon us?
by The Champs Are Here on Jun 23, 2010 2:25 PM EDT reply actions
if we were trading for Felix Hernandez
Johnny Perralta, Yunel Escobar and asking Pedro Martinez to unretire then yea..its probably Omar.
KEEP LEE!!!
by FreeBradshaw on Jun 23, 2010 2:27 PM EDT up reply actions
Come to think of it
I’m in and out of contact with tons of scouts in the baseball industry and management guys…I usually don’t save their email adresses on my public account, so this could be one of them…that would just be odd if this is how they explain their thoughts about the Yankees
Writer for Pinstripe Alley.
"Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth."
"So I close in saying that I may have had a tough break, but I have an awful lot to live for."
of this dude is an actual scout
it most definitely would explain the Pittsburgh Pirates.
KEEP LEE!!!
by FreeBradshaw on Jun 23, 2010 2:31 PM EDT up reply actions
Favorite part:
I used to call him Awesome Job Burnett but I now call him awful joke Burnett (see I even un capitolized it)
best part
Austin Romine – or any other prospect of the Braves’s choice for Chipper Jones? CHIPPER JONES? CHIPPER JONES?!?!?! The guy the Braves are begging to retire? This must be a joke.
by long time listener on Jun 23, 2010 2:41 PM EDT reply actions
Come on guys.
You know his ideas were way AWESOMER than yours are.
by WhatwouldJeterdo on Jun 23, 2010 2:41 PM EDT reply actions
I think this is the email equivalent of drunk- dialing someone.
I too think we should trade 2/3 of the outfield to shore up non- existent problems in the infield.
It would be great to have JayJay and ChippyChip with DerekyDerek and AlexAlex. They could form a boy- idol singing group “New Kids on the Diamond.” Or something.
We can’t make the Cliff Lee deal fast enough, since we need to keep at no more than one Pena on the roster.
If Tommy Glavine can unretire, perhaps Ronny Guidry could as well. I saw him on tv recently, and he really looks like he’s in shape.
by designatedquitter on Jun 23, 2010 3:00 PM EDT reply actions
Boss Man Junior
"I'd like to thank the Good Lord for making me a Yankee." Joey D
by Nintendo vs Sega on Jun 23, 2010 3:25 PM EDT reply actions
RIP
"I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone."
-Kurt Vonnegut
by NYSteelersFan4 on Jun 23, 2010 4:37 PM EDT up reply actions
Brandon you gave Steve Phillips your email address?
I’m very disappointed. Poor, very poor.
Any tennis fans around, btw? Isner-Mahut at 54-54 in the fifth set! I feel a bit ridiculous typing that.
by pkyankeefan on Jun 23, 2010 3:37 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
IT IS RIDICULOUS!
I feel so bad for both. I don’t know how they’re standing. I just want to hold John. Haha. I hope he can pull off the win.
by CAyankeesfan on Jun 23, 2010 3:40 PM EDT up reply actions
Yes.
They said the baseball equivalent would be going to like 70-something innings.
by CAyankeesfan on Jun 23, 2010 3:47 PM EDT up reply actions
I can't support one over the other anymore
Maybe they can go to a tiebreak by mutual consent? I mean, just wow.
by pkyankeefan on Jun 23, 2010 3:45 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
I'd never heard of Mahut before.
I have a lot of respect for both. I never really considered Isner a favorite American because I thought his conditioning was weak, but he has proven me wrong on every level.
by CAyankeesfan on Jun 23, 2010 3:47 PM EDT up reply actions
They've suspended it for the day
I’ve seen Mahut off and on, he’s a good player at Wimbledon. Unfreakingbelievable.
I feel bad for them.
It will be hell coming back tomorrow to play this match for the third day.
by CAyankeesfan on Jun 23, 2010 6:32 PM EDT up reply actions
It is ridiculous
that the staid & stubborn Brits don’t have a tiebreaker, as well as having a major two weeks after another major. They are like MLB, a little slow getting around to things.
His mother has a tattoo that reads, "Son".
He is the life of the party, even when he doesn't attend.
"It doesn't take more than one person, to talk to a woman.
Stay thirsty my friends."
by Great Gatsby on Jun 23, 2010 4:52 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, well
I’ve always been a fan of the no tie-breaker rule, but this is ridiculous. At least Wimbledon got a roof?
Yeah
and this year put lights under the roof, of course if these gents weren’t on Court 18,
they could have played under said roof, until their self-imposed 11PM curfew for the villagers sake.
His mother has a tattoo that reads, "Son".
He is the life of the party, even when he doesn't attend.
"It doesn't take more than one person, to talk to a woman.
Stay thirsty my friends."
by Great Gatsby on Jun 23, 2010 4:58 PM EDT up reply actions
Exactly!!
Why the hell do they not have lights? I don’t know how these guys are going to be able to pull themselves out of bed in the morning.
by CAyankeesfan on Jun 23, 2010 6:31 PM EDT up reply actions
This is hilarious...
In all seriousness, though, BJ Upton’s name isn’t really BJ. That just stands for “Bossman Junior” because his dad’s nickname is “Bossman,” so while growing up they nicknamed him “BJ.” But Bobby Jones Upton sounds so much better… :-\
Let's cut through the crap, Vaughn. I only got one thing to say to you: "Strike this mother f*cker out."
Baseball reference says he's "Melvin Emanuel", so he could have been
ME instead of BJ. Or he could have combined them, BJ ME. Just saying.
by HilltopPark on Jun 23, 2010 4:02 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Just irony?
I think not!
Yankees all day.
"People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring." ~Rogers Hornsby
"If you're not doing it right, you're doing it wrong. And there's no in between." ~Mark "Lunch" McKenzie
Where to begin...
This season has been very dissapointing for the Bronx Bombers
It sure has. First place in the AL East, best record in the majors. We might as well be rooting for the O’s at this point. At least they have a future.
The Yankees rotation has been good but can be better. My first idea would be to trade Burnett Pena and Russo to the Mariners for Cliff Lee and Joe Lopez. (Guessing he means Jose) Lopez can shore up the infield and Lee can shore up the rotation.
Absolutely. You know, awful joke has always been off and on, but when he’s off, you might as well take him behind the barn and cock the shotgun. The Mariners have always been dumb, so I’m sure they’ll make this trade. They’d be stupid not too.
My next idea would be much awesomer. It requires cash exchange likely (and Im not talking about the general manager LOL!) The Yankees should trade Brett “the gardy man can” Gardner and Curtis “the grandy man can” Granderson to the Rays for Carlo Pena, JayJay Bartlett (shore up the infield) and B.J. (personal favorite nicknamed Bobby Jones) Upton! That shores up tons of problems for the Boys in the Bronx!
Awesomer? More like Awesomest! I mean, Gardener (get it, like a Garden), has been pretty useless this year with his over .300 AVG, and we just traded for Granderson, so there’s really no need to keep him. Pena’s awesome, Bartlett is divine, and Upton? He belongs UPTOWN IN THE BOOGIE DOWN! This not only shores up the Bombers, it reefs, tides, and beaches them up to another WS Championship or 7.
Finally my final idea is to do too things. Ask Tommy Glavine to unretire and help our bullpen down the stretch as a lefty reliever. Also get Chippy Chip Jones from the Braves for a prospect of there choice (just not Houston Romine…GET IT! HOUSTON!) Braves llook like a real contender with Cox and Jones riding there last season out together and i dont want them to beat us in world series!
Now here’s the only thing I disagree with. If Glavine agrees to unretirement, or de-tirement as I like to call it, he should be in the starting rotation, that way we can move CC to the pen where he belongs. Also, another thing I disagree with is bringing Chippy Chip over, cause quite frankly, since the Braves look like a real contender, then they need to trade Girardi to the Braves for Bobby Cox as well. Jones is useless without the hard, stern Cox at his side, so I think this is a no-brainer.
Hell, all of these ideas are exactly what I would define as “no-brainers”, so kudos to your mysterious Yankees fan for truly thinking way way WAY outside the box and coming up with a better winning formula than PCP!
"WHO WOULD LEAD?! THE CLOWN?!"
by I'mGivingYouARaise on Jun 23, 2010 4:11 PM EDT reply actions
Maybe
the sender was a bit too “Chippy” when they sent the e-mail. The hilarity on this site sometimes
His mother has a tattoo that reads, "Son".
He is the life of the party, even when he doesn't attend.
"It doesn't take more than one person, to talk to a woman.
Stay thirsty my friends."
by Great Gatsby on Jun 23, 2010 4:37 PM EDT up reply actions
By Chippy, I assume you mean on drugs!
"WHO WOULD LEAD?! THE CLOWN?!"
by I'mGivingYouARaise on Jun 23, 2010 4:39 PM EDT up reply actions
I didn't say that
did I? Was it implied, probably, lol.
His mother has a tattoo that reads, "Son".
He is the life of the party, even when he doesn't attend.
"It doesn't take more than one person, to talk to a woman.
Stay thirsty my friends."
by Great Gatsby on Jun 23, 2010 4:41 PM EDT up reply actions
I believe ...
whoever wrote this was aborted.
"Baseball is the background music of my life." -George Will
wow
Join the Lacrosse community at Nationallacrosseleagueblog.blogspot.com
Talk about Boston sports at http://www.bestbostonsports.com/
"That place was for diehard sports fans. I only follow my team when they're in the playoffs" - Homer Simpson
by bestbostonsports on Jun 23, 2010 4:18 PM EDT reply actions
Interesting how you pick on this person’s spelling and in the very first line you spell received wrong.
Anyway, after reading everyone’s thoughts, this person is about to off himself/herself or some mall somewhere is about to get shot up!!
Maybe a keyboard factory blew up
and that email was the result.
Meanwhile I'm at work getting to watch Strasburg pitch!
"WHO WOULD LEAD?! THE CLOWN?!"
by I'mGivingYouARaise on Jun 23, 2010 5:25 PM EDT reply actions
7 K's through 4 innings
I really want to see this guy in the All-Star game
by Jedi Master A-Rod on Jun 23, 2010 5:30 PM EDT up reply actions
He's pretty damn incredible!
"WHO WOULD LEAD?! THE CLOWN?!"
by I'mGivingYouARaise on Jun 23, 2010 5:52 PM EDT up reply actions
The high hit total isn't really encouraging
But it’s not like they’re tearing the cover off the ball
by Jedi Master A-Rod on Jun 23, 2010 5:56 PM EDT up reply actions
The Royals are probably the best singles hitting team in the league.
They just really don’t score runs.
"WHO WOULD LEAD?! THE CLOWN?!"
by I'mGivingYouARaise on Jun 23, 2010 6:00 PM EDT up reply actions
And the Nats just got jobbed out of a run
The human element FTL
by Jedi Master A-Rod on Jun 23, 2010 6:19 PM EDT up reply actions
Not a great strikezone against Willingham either.
That last strike made up first 2 balls.
"WHO WOULD LEAD?! THE CLOWN?!"
by I'mGivingYouARaise on Jun 23, 2010 6:25 PM EDT up reply actions
It's funny that MLBN scheduled the Reds-A's game
Then as soon as the Nats game started they just permanently switched over.
Behold the power of Stras
by Jedi Master A-Rod on Jun 23, 2010 6:35 PM EDT up reply actions
It's Strasmas, as the MASN guys called it!
"WHO WOULD LEAD?! THE CLOWN?!"
by I'mGivingYouARaise on Jun 23, 2010 6:58 PM EDT up reply actions
Sounds like a terrible idea. Instead why not trade Jaba. The guy is hot and cold. Burnett would never agree because of his huge contract. At this point I would definitely keep Gardy.
We don’t need Chipper or Glavine(are you joking) they are too old. The other subs I don’t care but we do need back up for the infield. And finally Pena. Where is he going to play? Not first (remember Tex plays first) Pena is hot and cold since his wrist thing last year.
Wow....
Wow wow wow wow wow…..
-Announcement Forwarded To The Following: Boston Blowsox, New York Pets, Philadelphia Phonies, And Any Other Team Who Ain't With The Empire.................
Getcha' Rings Up........
by NYYWinsRings27 on Jun 23, 2010 6:20 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
Ozwalt and Bergman for peanuts...you watch
The Astroz sux and will want to save a few million. The Yankees keep players and prospects. We win! Open the Steinbrenner vault, Cashman!
I have nothing to say about that e-mail....
Maybe he thought he was e-mailing a writer for Pinstripe Alley in MLB10
Did you know Joe Morgan thinks Cano will win a batting title one day?
This has to be a joke...or I worry about some people.
I just got back from Nationals Park. First baseball game at a stadium…was fun. Strasburg was great…the Nats offense not-so-much. No loss, didn’t really care about the outcome (though it woulda been nice to see more offense first time).
Now let’s beat them Dooshbacks.
"We're only going to score 17 points?" - Tom Brady
"Well played, Mauer." - Guy from PS3 commercials
Not a chance in hell this is real...
Shore up the infield? It’s the best infield baseball has ever seen…
In Jeter, We trust.
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