One Fans Season Recap, Offseason Preview
by Brandon C. on Oct 23, 2010 7:54 PM EDT
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I'm sure you guys remember the stupid emails I have posted on this site before. I received an especially stupid one last night from a guy who said he "reads the site, but also poops so don't get too cocky." Well, there you have it. The subject of the email was "thoughts about the past, present, and future."
Here is the email, with no editing outside of his name, and what is in the parentheses -
Hola Brandon it is (his name here) This year has been very rough and tough for the bombers from the bronx from new york. (Loving the capitals!) We went into the year looking for nothing short of the world series and came out of the year with a ton of drunken dissapointed fans. Including myself. So after tonights game i decided to write you about my thoughts and stuff. I hope you use this on pa i don't have a username but wud be fine with you using it.
For the past season there have been many dissapointment signings and stuff. Chan Ho Park, Randy Winn, Boone Logan, and Javier Vaz I can't win a ballgame quez. Chan Ho was the biggest dissapointment he was bad like that Duggan dude at predicting stuff in your prediction post. He no funny. Just call him Chan Ho Duggan. Winn didn't live up to his name he became Randy Lossmachine. The actual playing was poor and the managing i will get to in a minute. Chad Gaudin played as bad as his beered and Curtis GrandersonJuan Miranda dude got his nickname Win Miranda with the walk off walk. Dude can look. played like a girl. Call him Curty Granderdaughter. The bright spot in the season was when that
The present is tough. We have to work on watching other teams and not crying about the outcomes thinking it could have been us. We can do it.
The future is tough. We have to work on getting rid of some people and getting some new people. First, fourmost, fivemost even! We need to fire Joe the Joey man can't Girardi. Girardi is stupid. Stupid is Girardi. Either way he made terrible decisions and couldn't figure out to put freaking Mo in when Hughes struggled. Cmon dude Mo is shutdown we have Joba to close if we need to! Long won't be hitting coach for.....Long! Eiland should be stranded on himself and Harkey should barkey his way to a new team.
Cliff Lee should not be a yankee. The Yankees should sign him and trade him to the RoyalsBilly Butler so Arod can slap something not named Jeter. (That was cleverly dumb) Maybe the Yankees should sign Crawford and put Gardner in center Granderson in right and Swisher at first. Teixeira played some infield when he was younger so make him DH. Cervelli should be third base backup and backup catcher and Pena should be traded for a tree or something maybe a doenut. for Soria and Granky and maybe have them throw in
If none of this happens maybe the team should change there name to the stupids. Thats what they would be. I dont know what you think but A.J. Burnett needs to become a reliever and Aceves can be a starter again. A.J. has lights out stuff for a reliever and he can take over for Kerry Wood and Wood can go to the Mets or something and be there new GM. Oh well I am rambling now but this took a lot out of me I need some more orange juice or something.
So, stupidest one yet? Hopefully this provides some laughs after elimination.
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Dear Random Fan,
You are really one to talk about being funny. Sorry, you are no FreeBradshaw.
Try harder next time,
WWJD
And if you forget our names, just tell them we were Yankees
by WhatwouldJeterdo on Oct 23, 2010 7:58 PM EDT reply actions
I disagree
This is the funniest thing I have ever seen on the internet, with the exception of pictures of cats drinking beer.
by long time listener on Oct 23, 2010 10:17 PM EDT up reply actions
Funny cause you are stupid /=/ funny.
The only lulz this dude brought are the unintentional kind.
And if you forget our names, just tell them we were Yankees
by WhatwouldJeterdo on Oct 23, 2010 10:27 PM EDT up reply actions
You no funny, Chan Ho Duggan!
Writer for Pinstripe Alley, MLB Daily Dish,
Follow me on twitter @nyybrandonc
Big Yankees and NY Rangers fan!
R.I.P. Freddy 'Sez', Bob Sheppard, George Steinbrenner
by Brandon C. on Oct 23, 2010 7:59 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I spit laffter with that line.
Individuals don't win Championships, Teams do.
Chase for 28 in 2011
Get Off My Mound
Chan Ho Duggan has to stick
The rest of the email makes me sad. If this is what future Yankees fans are going to be, the fanbase is in a lot of trouble.
well I guess you didn't swallow "laffter" then.
Bokeem Woodbine
by FreeBradshaw on Oct 23, 2010 8:06 PM EDT up reply actions
Laughter.
Its my shorthand.
Individuals don't win Championships, Teams do.
Chase for 28 in 2011
Get Off My Mound
Wow.
I got halfway through it before I was overcome with rage at the horrendous spelling.and grammar.
Also, fivemost? Rele?
I don't get brunch. What's the benefit of combining break dancing and lunch?
He also spelled doughnut as doenut.
There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.
That's how Dunkin Donuts spells it.
I don't get brunch. What's the benefit of combining break dancing and lunch?
Dunkin Donuts isnt a dictionary.
There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.
Not quite my theory.
But its not a bad guess…
I would totally stand outside Marc Albrighton's house playing Peter Gabriel music.
Melk has better spelling than that....
I think.
I don't get brunch. What's the benefit of combining break dancing and lunch?
Ahahahahahahahaha
This is so stupid that it’s hilarious.
There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.
Sadly it is.
Writer for Pinstripe Alley, MLB Daily Dish,
Follow me on twitter @nyybrandonc
Big Yankees and NY Rangers fan!
R.I.P. Freddy 'Sez', Bob Sheppard, George Steinbrenner
by Brandon C. on Oct 23, 2010 9:14 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Can't be the worst
Wait for the comments on who we should trade to get Felix Hernandez. The trade ideas are always my favorite.
I'm guessing alcohol was involved in this e-mail
Though I wouldn’t blame anyone for hard drinking after last night’s game
by upstateNYYFan1984 on Oct 23, 2010 10:20 PM EDT reply actions
better than drunk dialing or drunk texting?
I don't get brunch. What's the benefit of combining break dancing and lunch?
Does it involve Brett Favre?
Questions or thoughts? Email me at duggan2423(at)gmail(dot)com
by Lord Duggan on Oct 23, 2010 10:47 PM EDT up reply actions
Haha. Post every email that you get like this
Hello everyone, my name is Curtis Granderson, and I'm a bus-o-holic
A supporter of the MFY.
chan ho duggan.
hahahahaha
I believe in the Church of Baseball
by Frank Campagnola on Oct 23, 2010 11:00 PM EDT reply actions
The shot at Duggan was awesome, lol
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by bestbostonsports on Oct 24, 2010 12:15 AM EDT reply actions
what about the other 10%
QUITTER'S PEOPLE UNITED # 3
WHAT?
"If my players don't start producing there'll be more fireworks around here by the Fourth of July than anyone can imagine." (1982)
Don't cha know Robbie Cano? BOOM!!! Now you do.
The bright spot of this whole mess was him talking about Juan Miranda.
“Dude can look” had me rolling.
by Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. on Oct 24, 2010 1:03 AM EDT reply actions
this guy is such a dumbass..though i must say i’d like whatever he was sipping on
by fckbstngoyankees on Oct 24, 2010 4:36 AM EDT reply actions
+1 I post these because I find them funny and think you guys would too.
Writer for Pinstripe Alley, MLB Daily Dish,
Follow me on twitter @nyybrandonc
Big Yankees and NY Rangers fan!
R.I.P. Freddy 'Sez', Bob Sheppard, George Steinbrenner
by Brandon C. on Oct 24, 2010 10:15 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
I know Kerry Wood probably wants to be a closer, but I thought he was more likely to return as our setup man than to be GM for the Mets. You never know though, the Mets aren’t known for great offseason signings.
"Young men, I have no doubt that you're gonna do well today. But I have 1 favor to ask of you... SAVE JIMMY JOHNSON'S ASS FOR ME!" Lou Holtz
by TheRealSlimShady on Oct 24, 2010 5:07 PM EDT reply actions
Chan Ho Duggan is Hilarious....
You have to be pretty drunk to write an email like that..
I loved this email. Thank you for sharing. Oh to be that young and drunk again.
Chad Gaudin played as bad as his beered - I love it self-loathing pity over his alcoholism and a grooming critique in the same word.
“The bright spot in the season was when that” left me hanging- after all that bile, the bright spot was… what? I need to know.
Also, if we can sign Lee, I think the Royals will do the even trade for Billy Butler.
Last but not least- “The New York Stupids” is great. This is a marketer’s dream. First, every Yankee fan has to ditch their pinstripes and hat & bat logo and go out to buy the new “Stupids” gear. Then the Yankee haters get on the bandwagon, and then everyone else who knows nothing about baseball but likes the irony wearing “Stupids” gear. There is a fortune to made in this idea.
by designatedquitter on Oct 25, 2010 9:50 AM EDT reply actions
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