This must be the worst team ever!

by Ed Valentine on Apr 9, 2009 8:30 AM EDT in New York Yankees Analysis

I am filing Sweeny Murti's blog post for WFAN this morning in the 'I wish I had written that myself' category. After watching the Yankees stumble to an 0-2 start, Murti has predicted, tongue-in-cheek of course, a disaster of epic proportions in the Bronx.

Here are a few of my favorite snippets.

*The Yankees will go 0-68 in games started by CC Sabathia and Chien-Ming Wang. In fact, the team will not win a game all year, finishing 0-162.

*Mark Teixeira will set a major league record with just 1 hit in 564 at-bats.

*Joe Girardi will be fired after the team finishes April without a win. Interim managers Rob Thomson (May), Bernie Williams (June), Paul O’Neill (July), John Sterling (August), and Freddy The Pan Man (September) will all be fired after winless months as well.

*Brian Cashman will be fired along after April along with Girardi. Interim GMs Stick Michael (May), Buck Showalter (June), Mike Mussina (July 1), John Sterling (July 2-July 31), Guy Oseary (August), and Hank Steinbrenner (September) will also be fired after winless months. Mussina will actually quit after realizing he isn’t allowed to do the job from his Montoursville, PA home. Steinbrenner will fire himself in the most bizarre press conference ever televised by YES.

Awesome work, Sweeny! Now, down off the bridge everybody. Remember, the Phillies started 0-2 last season and won the World Series.

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No, no, no

Leave them on the bridge…

in fact, give ’em a shove.

Might open up a few seats here and there at the new stadium.

by detroit yankee on Apr 9, 2009 8:44 AM EDT reply actions

LOL!!

Either that or we can move ‘em all to the obstructed bleacher seats so they don’t have to look!

by Ed Valentine on Apr 9, 2009 9:25 AM EDT up reply actions

Not surprised

by the lack of intensity and focus this team has shown. The reason for that is because when you pay players all that money there’s no incentives to play hard cuz they’re gettin paid no matter what. As far as jumpin off the bridge….. go ahead I’ll take your tickets lol

by Blazer Fan From Ohio on Apr 9, 2009 9:27 AM EDT reply actions

you're right...

NO ONE on the Yankees wants to win a World Series. They’re ALL just there to collect a paycheck…

That is the most moronic thing I have read.

by NumberSeven on Apr 9, 2009 9:35 AM EDT up reply actions

Money

So, if that is the case there are pretty much no players in the big leagues who care about ever winning a game again, since most of them are already richer than any of us will ever be. That’s silly.

by Ed Valentine on Apr 9, 2009 9:44 AM EDT up reply actions

Let me clarify

There are some players who do care every game no matter what the situation is. But there are certain players who only try their hardest when it gets down to crunch time- like the final 2 months of the season. They all try to some extent but there are a lot of guys, not naming people, who are there to collect a paycheck. And when you have a collection of guys that are all making that much, odds are you’re gonna have some players who won’t really play with a sense of urgency until August maybe July. They all want to succeed, it just seems that the desire to play in April for a guys is not there

by Blazer Fan From Ohio on Apr 9, 2009 10:51 AM EDT up reply actions

Lord

Is there one single point you make that is remotely grounded in reality?

by HappyLuckyGoldenDragonNumber1! on Apr 9, 2009 11:44 AM EDT up reply actions

Suzyn Waldman for GM!

And the Bleacher Creatures for board of directors please.

by BigSlim on Apr 9, 2009 10:10 AM EDT reply actions

Waldman...

good one!!

by NumberSeven on Apr 9, 2009 12:25 PM EDT up reply actions

Go Yankees

by Brian5517209 on Apr 9, 2009 11:08 AM EDT reply actions

very nice

got a good laugh out of it.

just the beginning of the season, no need to worry yet. some people just like to jump the gun.

LET'S GO BUFFALO!!!!!!

by BenAllen on Apr 9, 2009 12:36 PM EDT reply actions

Early

Last time I checked the season is 162 games long, I’d put a year’s salary down that says every team in the majors loses consecutive games at some point this. Going 0-2 isnt the end of the world, heck, it wouldnt even eliminate you from the first round of the playoffs!!!

by ablhazard on Apr 9, 2009 12:57 PM EDT reply actions