The following players are worse than Miguel Cairo

by onehitwonder on Dec 4, 2006 5:57 PM EST Comment 14 comments

I don't think ol' Miguel needs much of an introduction around these parts. Cairo batted .239 in 222 ABs in another stellar season for the Yanks. He has quietly become the best .230 hitter in the history of baseball, an undisputed fact.

The following people had worse batting averages, and are thus worse than Miguel Cairo:

Jason Varitek .238
Alex Cora .238
Joey Gathright .238
Tony Batista .236 (the best .236 hitter in the league)
Juan Uribe .235
Morgan Ensberg .235
Brandon Fahey .235
Angel Berroa .234
Adam Dunn .234
Sidney Ponson .231
Brad Ausmus .230
Jeromy Burnitz .230
Vinny Castilla .229
Bobby Crosby .229

Now I know nobody was stupid enough to doubt that Miguel Cairo is better than Adam Dunn, but now you have undeniable proof! And this is just a small sample of the top-quality players that Cairo snubs when they ask for his autograph.

By all means, please discuss.

This post was proudly funded by the Miguel Cairo for Yankees 2007 campaign.

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P.S.

For those who don't get the .230 hitter reference, it's something Sterling likes to say on the radio.

by onehitwonder on Dec 4, 2006 5:59 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Better than Adam Dunn, eh?

When was the last time Miguel Cairo hit 40 HR's?

I really hope this was extremely sarcastic, because if it's not, it's extremely stupid.

by Willton on Dec 4, 2006 7:37 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

To even think

that this was serious was stupid

Great Success!

by ReLaunch on Dec 4, 2006 8:15 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Poor Brad Ausmus

Sidney Ponson is better at baseball than you are.

Have faith in the Yankees my son. Think of the great DiMaggio.

by jscape2000 on Dec 5, 2006 2:01 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

Ponson

I don't know, I think if your batting average is less than your weight you're automatically disqualified from being called better than anyone.

by SP on Dec 5, 2006 9:45 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

Tell that to Cecil Fielder.

Had he been able to hit his weight he would have been better than Ted Williams.

Everything looks nicer when you win. The girls are prettier. The cigars taste better. The trees are greener. --Billy Martin

by garp on Dec 5, 2006 10:59 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Fielder

According to wiki, he was 250, about the same as Ponson. And he made it over that, his career BA was .255.

by SP on Dec 5, 2006 11:32 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Maybe his right butt cheek was 250...

Let's get real.

Everything looks nicer when you win. The girls are prettier. The cigars taste better. The trees are greener. --Billy Martin

by garp on Dec 5, 2006 12:58 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Ok

I've seen sites that say up to 270, but the best quote I found was this:
"Listed at 250 pounds but one must wonder what would happen if he put his other foot on the scale." --Bill James

by SP on Dec 5, 2006 3:45 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs